Page 44 of Stepbrothers with Benefits
“What’s stupid?” he asked, arm flexing around my middle and nuzzling his face into the pillow.
“Just...thinking.”
“About stupid things?”
“Just that...it’s stupid that because of how people are, and how judgy and petty they are, we act weird about doing stuff like this.”
“Like what?”
“Lying here, being comfortable, touching.”
“Oh...yeah, I guess that is pretty stupid. But it’s not really anyone’s fault.”
“It would certainly help if people didn’t give us shit for doing stuff that’s normal.”
He chuckled, his face pushing against my upper arm, where he took a deep breath and sighed so contentedly I was reminded of a particularly well-cared-for dog. “I don’t know, two guys cuddling to get comfortable is pretty gay.”
“I mean, I don’t care if it's gay. It’s not, but I don’t care.”
“I’m glad you aren’t bothered that people think you’re gay.”
“Yeah, well, half my girlfriends have wondered.”
“Even Eva?”
“Man, especially Eva. She’s asked about you and me several times.”
“Like Reese did?”
“God no. Even when we were dating, she was never upset about it. She takes on this air like she’s trying to help.”
“Help with what?”
“I don’t know, I guess that I might be into dudes. Or you know?—”
His breath gusted against my arm, and I felt a tingle as his fingers curled against my side before settling again. “I don’t know...what?”
“I guess she thinks I need help with being into you.”
Milo let out a soft laugh that was more breath than force. “She’s kinda kinky, huh? She probably wants to watch.”
I groaned. “The worst part is, you’re right.”
“Ha,” he chuckled. “Well, I guess I can’t blame her. It would be hot.”
My brow shot up to my hairline with such force that I was surprised it wasn’t audible. I took a moment to make sure I wouldn’t sound like he had just...well, said what he said, and then breathed out casually. “She said something along those lines.”
“I mean...we’re both good-looking guys,” he said, his voice not quite sleepy but not completely lucid either. He must have been riding the line between drunken sleep and drunken wakefulness, which I’d only seen him do once when we’d been living together, on our own for the first time, and had bought liquor for ourselves. I thought he’d passed out, but instead he began rambling about anything that popped into his head. That was when I learned that his first boyfriend had cheated on him, and ever since then, Milo had been super careful not to get too attached. I’d learned that he was still furious and hurt that Marty had kept knowledge of his father from him, that he was worriedwe were going to end up having to crawl back to the hotel. So many other private, little thoughts and fears that he usually kept locked in his head. Things that found a way out in the cracks between sleep and wakefulness, while there was plenty of alcohol running through his system.
God, what kind of revelations would I get if that were the case? I had to consider if I should stop him because the last time, there had been a whole lot of things I knew Milo had been horrified he’d spilled the beans about. I had to tell him what he said because he didn’t remember a single piece of that conversation. Horror had been transfixed on his face when I’d told him some of the stuff he’d said, and even then, I had kept some of it to myself. Weirdly, it felt almost like his drunken self had violated the trust of his sober self, and telling him some of the secrets his drunk self had told had been a little too much for me.
“I guess we are,” I said slowly, thoughts racing as I tried to figure out whether I should stop him. On the one hand, it could be nothing but the mindless rambling of a drunk goofball who tended to be more laid-back about things other people considered serious. On the other hand, he could be about to tell me things he would rather keep to himself. The real question was, how much did I want to know if it was the second?
“And I mean…” his voice was clearer the more he spoke, but he still had the same laid-back, casual air. “I don’t know what you’re like in the bedroom. Never really asked you about that.”
“Which is weird, since you have no problem asking other people about that sort of thing,” I threw out, apparently deciding to see where he was going. God, was that wrong?
“It’s different with you...always has been.”
