Page 86 of Stepbrothers with Benefits
He paused and eyed me. “Even if it meant me being with them without you?”
There was a sting, and then I thought about it and shrugged. “I...maybe? I don’t know. Actually...you want to know what’s weird?”
“Let me guess. You’d be fine with me sleeping with women now and then, but you’d be really uncomfortable if I decided to sleep with other guys if you weren’t included?”
I laughed in surprise. “Yeah, actually. God, it’s different and not, you knowing me and not knowing me.”
“I know,” he said with a smile. “And for the record, I haven’t thought about other guys. You’re the only guy I’ve been thinking about...constantly, I might add.”
If he was trying to make me feel better, he was succeeding. I couldn’t be blamed for having the most significant source of my fantasies and my single greatest crush telling me I was the sole target in his eyes and feeling a bit like a flustered schoolgirl. It was everything I’d ever dreamed of coming true, and Icouldn’t help but lap up every drop of affection, attention, and well...sexual attraction.
“You are what I think about,whoI think about,” he continued, and his confidence, more than his words, made me feel like I was walking on air. “In ways I’ve never thought about another person. And sometimes I’m afraid it’s just because...this is all new, different. Or because you’re just so...sorry, maybe not the word I should use, butobsessedwith me.”
I leaned back and laughed. “No, that’s a pretty fair way of putting it. I am pretty hung up on you; you can call it obsessed without me taking offense. I was hung up on you before, but then I got to experience what it was like to be with you, and I just...well, yeah, got obsessed. But I mean, it’s not like shallow.”
“Shallow, like how I described you and Raf?”
“I agreed with that.”
“I guess you did.”
I watched him briefly as we ate quietly and belatedly realized he was holding back. It was in the way he wouldn’t quite look me in the eye for long, and in the way he kept flitting between dishes as if he couldn’t decide which to focus on. Considering how open we’d been about everything, I wasn’t sure what could bother him so much that he didn’t want to say it aloud.
Then I remembered the conversation and winced. “You’re thinking about Raf.”
“It should have occurred to me sooner that I asked you out on a date when you’re seeing someone,” he said with a grimace, and I could see all the enjoyment disappearing from his face and body. “It’s one thing to have an open, sexual relationship, but this is more than that. And I’m betting your rules don’t cover this.”
“Well,” I said slowly, poking at a piece of fish to get it away from the bones. It peeled away pleasantly, tickling some part of my brain, and I was a little sad that it was almost gone. “Sort of.”
“Sort of?” he asked doubtfully, though what that doubt was aimed at was still unknown. Itcouldbe because he didn’t think it was covered, and I was trying to make both of us feel better about tonight, which was a little insulting. If I were a little more inclined to give him credit for giving me credit, it might have been just doubt that a solution could come that smoothly.
I narrowed my eyes, wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt but not liking the idea that I might be lying to him. “Yes, sort of.”
He raised a brow, clearly detecting my shift in mood but not entirely sure where it was coming from. “That’s where you’re supposed to explain what you mean, not leave it a mystery for me to solve.”
“Well, it did sorta come up.”
“Seeing other people?”
“Yeah. Sort of.”
“Elaborate?”
“Well, it came up kinda recently.”
His head tilted slowly, setting his fork down. “Howrecently?”
I didn’t want to wince because it looked guilty, but I couldn’t help it. “Ummm, the other day.”
“Is this a normal person’s ‘other day’ or your version of ‘other day’ we’re talking about here?”
“Is there a difference?”
He scoffed. “Really? Your ‘other day’ could be literally the other day or it could have been three weeks ago. Your concept of time is screwed up, and that bleeds all the way into how you describe time.”
“Wednesday.”
“Jesus, okay, literally the other day. What was said?”
