“Don’t worry,” he said confidently, “I have a plan.” He reached into his pocket, drew out the pebble I’d given him days ago, and flung it across the room.
Everyone watched as it skittered over the marble floor. It wobbled for a few long moments before settling.
“Bryce,” I whispered in the silence that followed. “What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck?”
“I thought, since I’ve been carrying around that pebble this whole time, it only made sense it would eventually come in handy to save the day. But, uh, instead of providing a satisfying payoff, it turns out it was useless deadweight.”
“Deadweight?” I said around gritted teeth, nodding subtly in Kelly’s direction.
“Sorry, Kelly,” Bryce said.
“Seize them!” shouted the king, because that was apparently all he said anymore.
The guards closed in. I reached for Bryce’s hand. Instead, Kelly wove her fingers with mine. I shuddered.
One of the guards grabbed me roughly by the arms, prying me away as another seized Bryce and a guard wrangled Kelly. We were dragged forward until we stood before the king. They forced us to our knees.
I looked over at Bryce, who gave me a wry little shrug. My throat tightened. I probably should’ve told him I loved him or whatever.
Amy stepped forward, sword drawn. “I bet you’rewondering how I managed to get the last Chosen One to work for me.” He chuckled, giving his sword a little shake. “She resisted for a while, but as soon as I slipped her a bit of hero potion, she realized the only noble choice was to help me. If only you possessed the same clarity of mind, maybe—”
“LEEROOOOOY JENKINS!” a voice roared. The throne room doors flung open, and our band of misfits barreled inside, led by the blacksmith.
The skeletons outside must’ve given them antidotes, because our little crew showed more skill in a few minutes than they had the entire time we’d known them. Cuthbert effortlessly disarmed half the guards as Winston silently knocked the rest out with a flick of his wrist and a puff of green magic. Pants carried Greg on her shoulder. The blacksmith gave everyone bear hugs as he administered vials of antidote.
Soon the misfits had everyone restrained.
Pants stepped forward then, and Greg dismounted her shoulder. “Well done.” Greg strode over. “I admit, when I created a Chosen One portal, I only specified I wanted someone with questionable morals who happened to be holding oregano because I needed it to raise the dead. I had no idea Bryce would step through at the last moment and both of you would prove to be so cluelessly useful.”
“Thanks?” Bryce said.
And I began to laugh. Because this whole time, there was no reason why Bryce and I had been drawn through a portal. It was all chance and bad luck. The whole time, I’d been convinced there was meaning behind it all as I battled with myself, trying to figure out if I was a hero or a villain, when all we’d only ever been were glorified pizza delivery people.
“What are you laughing about?” asked Bryce.
“We weren’t sent on a quest to get over our flaws. We aren’t the main characters. It’s not that deep. You’re, like, the cowardly bard, and I’m the self-centered comedic relief.”
Bryce shook his head. “You were not the comedic relief.”
“You’re right, I should give myself more credit.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He pulled me in for a kiss.
I hadn’t been brought to this world to learn a lesson or change. It was okay to be messy and impulsive and wild. It was okay to fail. It was okay to never understand why there was atinmortgage, or to be honest about the fact that no one enjoyed conversations about the weather, or to acknowledge that red dye #40 was delicious and drinking greens kind of sucked. I didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love.
“I don’t want to grow old with you, Bryce,” I whispered against his lips. “I want to never grow up with you.”
CHAPTER 45INWHICHTHEENDISOURBEGINNING
BRYCE
We spent all day turning people back into themselves. Courtney and I didn’t get a chance to have the talk we both knew we needed. Thenow whattalk where we had to face our feelings and the choices we made that got us stuck here.
By sunset, most of the city had been turned. Skeletons caught those forced to run from the cure. The dragon was off, netting stragglers. The mouse already had plans to march onward in the morning to liberate, and perhaps destroy as a result, the rest of the kingdom.
As I walked through the city, I took in the change we’d wrought.
Instead of villagers callinggood dayto each other, arguments broke out. Curse words zipped up and down alleys. Pent-up aggressions burst free at last. Lines were drawn and feuds formed. With the king gone, anarchy ruled.
