Page 82 of A Smart Girl's Guide to Second Chances
‘No, you can’t. Because Nick and I want you there. We... need you there,’ I said. ‘You gave your life to your work, Dad. But your time is up. The doctors you still consider to be junior are inthe prime of their careers – they need you to mentor them, but also to give them space. There were some consultants at my old job—’
‘Old job?’ Dad said.
I’d resigned a few days after I’d been offered the promotion. Miranda had smiled when I’d told her my plans.
‘This job gives me and my family more than it takes,’ she’d said. ‘But I wasn’t sure that would be true for you. And I really hope that it won’t be the case for your next chapter.’
‘I don’t think it will be,’ I replied. ‘Though your insight would have been helpful before I pursued a promotion single-mindedly.’
Miranda cackled. ‘Oh, Bec,’ she’d said. ‘I didn’t get this position by encouraging the people who make my life easier to jump ship! And, more importantly, I think people need to make their own decisions about when it’s time to run towards something.’
‘Yes, my old job,’ I said to Dad. ‘We can talk about it another time. My point is, there were consultants at my old firm who’d left the partnership but out of respect had been kept on as “advisors”. And they came into the office most days because they had nowhere else to go. They worked so hard that they forgot to have a life.
‘Dad, I need you to come to the wedding. It’s important to Mum and to me and Nick. Stella, Nick and I are all in Mum’s bridal party. You said you’d babysit Evie and Alice. Stella’s parents aren’t in town. None of their regular babysitters are available. You’re it, Dad.’
Dad looked down at his desk for a moment. Did I imagine it or did his eyes rest on my photo frame?
‘I’ll need to get changed,’ he said. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t smile. I knew Dad would never say sorry. I wasn’t sure thathe would ever agree with how I saw his life. But right then, changing out of his scrubs was a start.
An hour later, the sunny courtyard was filled with extended family and friends.
I stood with Lily and Stella, soaking it all in as we each drank an illicit glass of champagne we’d convinced Lucy, who was walking around the venue with the proud energy of a celebrity giving anArchitectural Digesttour, to sneak us. We’d spent the day together getting ready in matching satin pyjamas in a hotel room I’d booked months ago. We’d done each other’s nails and eaten burgers and chips and laughed until the glue on our fake eyelashes had been endangered.
And we’d talked – properly talked. Because at some point, we’d stopped having real conversations. As we’d hit our thirties, we’d all decided that the only answer to the question, ‘How are you?’ had become, ‘Good.’ Which was the socially lubricating thing to do in nearly every context, but not with your best friends.
And I knew that things wouldn’t always be good, that we were in the stage of life where it all was happening to us hard and fast – the times when things were good would be something to celebrate. We’d need each other, more than ever, for all the other bits.
‘Your mum’s going to arrive any moment!’ Belinda, who’d snuck up on our group silently, interrupted our drink. I felt a flutter of anticipatory nerves in the bottom of my stomach. When I’d emailed Belinda to ask if she would mind doing one small extra piece of officiating, she’d immediately agreed. I liked to think that it was because I’d grown on her, but I think she wasjust grateful that Mum had prescribed her HRT. ‘But before we begin the ceremony, Rebecca asked if I could read out the vows she wrote.’
Lily and Stella looked confused, but Belinda pressed on.
‘Lily Li, Stella Evans and Rebecca Evans. We are gathered here today to celebrate over twenty years of friendship and love for one another. You met as girls and helped each other decide what you wanted from your lives ahead. Now you are adults living those lives.’
She looked up from the piece of stiff cardboard she’d been reading from and looked at each of us in turn as she continued to speak.
‘And in my experience, it’s the next twenty years where you’ll need each other even more – it’s when you get all the things you wanted, or you don’t. When everything looks a bit different from how you thought it would.’
Belinda caught my eye. I hadn’t written that line – that had been all her, from the road ahead. I smiled.
‘So today I ask you to make these vows, with each other as your witnesses, for the next part of your lives together. Do you Lily, Stella and Rebecca vow to be there for each other? Do you vow to be open with each other? Do you vow to encourage each other to jump and to be a safe place to fall? If so, please say, “I do.”’
I snuck a glance at my best friends, who stood on either side of me, nervous that their faces would be incredulous or sceptical. But Stella looked moved and Lily was blinking, as if trying to furiously fight back tears.
‘I do,’ we all spoke in unison.
It had taken a bit of work to convince Mum and Hamish to have Matt’s and my wedding. Finally Mum had admitted that they would have loved a proper party when they got married, but hadn’t wanted to upset everyone.
In the end, it wasn’t Nick and me telling Mum to go for it, and Caroline doing the same with Hamish, it was the idea of all the things we’d paid for going to waste that got them across the line. I’d transferred Matt the money for everything he’d spent on the wedding, and Mum didn’t want my savings to go to waste.
‘Matt wouldn’t mind?’ she’d asked. I shook my head. This was exactly the kind of Plan B that Matt would think of – he always chose the option that made people happy.
‘Well... if it’s just money going down the drain,’ Mum agreed, her eyes bright with excitement.
I grinned as Mum crutched her way down the aisle. We’d bought her dress together – the brightest thing they sold in Zimmermann, and she’d confessed she’d hated the muted, age-appropriate dress she’d worn to her town hall ceremony with Hamish. Her wedding dress matched her rainbow cast.
Mum caught sight of Hamish, waiting for her at the end of the aisle, and her bright red lips cracked into an enormous smile. She’d never looked happier.
As Mum and Hamish clasped each other’s hands, Alice began to wail. I could feel Stella about to move towards her daughter.
