God… the thought of losing her… I couldn’t imagine this world withoutus…
I had to take a deep, quick breath to steady myself.
Don’t ever let it happen, Father. If one of us must go, let it be me. Keep her safe. Keep her here for her sister, and for Gall. And… let her be happy. Always.
57. The Road to Ruin
SOUNDTRACK: As Above, So Below by Cxssidy
~ YILAN ~
The next morning before we left, I said goodbye to my sister in her rooms where she was refusing to get out of bed and Gall was hovering, wringing his hands.
We were both weeping by the time I stumbled out, but I had the presence of mind to tell Gall that he had half an hour before he had to meet us in the Courtyard.
The lines of worry and anguish on his face brought my tears back, so I hugged him and ran out of the room, pleading with God to keep my sister safe—and Gall too, so that they could be reunited.
An hour later, we rode out of the palace walls, Melek with his spears pointing to the skies behind his shoulders, and Gall in fighting leathers, both riding our biggest war stallions. The other Neph, including Jann, on our largest geldings. Me and Diadre rode our usual mares. We’d always known that Shadekin men couldn’t accompany us into the Neph camp, but when I had talked to Diadre about accompanying me, she’d been eager to infiltrate. She planned to do as I had done originally, walk the shadows and stay out of sight. But she’d be close. We could mindlink easily if I needed help, and she would run messages to Jhonas and the legion of fighters Turo had insisted he would keep half a day’s march into the Shadows of Shade. Not close enough to be detected by exploratory forays into the mists, but near enough to help in a panic.
There’d been a great deal of arguing about who should be the one to do the spying and running, but I’d fought for Diadre. She was a skilled shadow walkerandmilitary trained. She would recognize any strategic movements that might herald troops moving towards the border and have the skill and power not to get caught.
Jhonas fought me hard, claiming he was the better choice. But while he was a solid shadow walker, his bulk meant that he used a great deal more power to conceal himself. He’d be recognized as a fighter if he was discovered.
If the Neph found a male Fetch among them, they’d slaughter him on the spot. As a woman, Diadre would be captured rather than killed, buying us time to get her out. Of course, no one was naïve about what that meant. Least of all, me.
At times I wondered if death might be preferable.
I prayed fervently that we’d never have to learn.
It was the first time I’d ridden a horse since traveling back from the Nephilim camp, and I knew within an hour that I would be sore. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care that one of the seams on my leathers was off and I might end up with a blister on my calf.
I didn’t care that my cloak hood blew back in the chill, autumn wind and that meant by the time we made camp tonight my hair would be a tangled mess.
I didn’t even care that Diadre was riding at my side, glaring back towards the Neph and muttering aboutthat fuckwit Jann.
I let her rants wash over me and simply nodded along, because I would rather focus on anything other than Gall riding, chin high, and silent… but tears tracking down his cheeks.
Melek eased his stallion between us, sometimes reaching for my hand as we rode, sometimes talking quietly with Gall. I didn’t hear what they said, but when we stopped for lunch, Melek said he was relieved.
“He’s sad and worried, but not losing his mind. I’m impressed. This is the kind of stress that would have sent him into a tailspin a year ago.”
I was glad to hear that Gall wasn’t falling apart like Istral had. My heart ached and twisted, plaguing me with doubts. But each time I’d grow shaky in my resolve, I’d look over at Melek and remember why we were here.
My mate.
My King.
Peace.
We reached the Shadows of Shade within a few hours and paused to let the horses drink before entering. Gall’s eyes widened as he stared at the mists. I forgot that he and Melek had slept through our traverse on the way in.
I followed Gall’s gaze to the wall of ever-moving but never encroaching shadows. They swirled and rolled like a nest of snakes. Were I not a Shadekin, the Shadows of Shade would turn my blood cold.
Those who’d entered alone, or gotten to far from their Shadekin guides spoke of voices in the mist, the neck-prickling sense that eyes always followed them, and of the fog manifesting talons and teeth…
So how had Hever led the Nephilim through?
Melek didn’t let his fear show, but he sat his horse at the edge of the deep fog, frowning, one arm bent, his hand braced on his thigh, examining it.