Page 26 of The King is Dead
I slumped with relief and called “Come in!”at the same time that Turo cursed.
My second maid, Nelson, peered around the door, smiling when she saw me already up, though her gaze took in the cloak and her brows rose. “Good morning, Your Majesty. Turner wants to know if you’re ready to dress for the day—but I see that you are?”
“Yes,” I said.
Just as Turo growled, “Notnow.”
But I turned on him, a warning in my eyes as I spoke to my maid. “It does seem early, Nelly. Is there a reason for the, er, fresh start?”
Nelly looked confused. “The Jubilee, your Majesty. Now that you’ve returned… we only have a few days. Turner understood that today was the day you would decide the details—”
“Right, right, of course,” I said, waving her off, shaking my head, and assiduously avoiding Turo’s eyes.
The Jubilee was supposed to be for my thirtieth birthday. It was originally when Turo and I planned to return from our honeymoon.A festival in which the entire Kingdom would have celebrated my marriage, their new King, and perhaps even the conception of the heir…
Oh, God.
“You’re right. We have much to do today. Please tell Turner to have a bath brought. We can begin discussing details while I wash.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She darted away, closing the door, and I was forced to turn back to Turo. But we both knew we wouldn’t be alone for long.
“Yilan—”
“I’m sorry, Turo. I knoweverythingis wrong right now. I do.”
“Then why are you acting like it’s nothing?” he insisted, worry and anger shining from his dark gaze. “It’s obvious to anyone who knows you thatsomethinghas happened.”
“Somethinghashappened, Turo,” I said as kindly as I could. “Things I could never even begin to have anticipated—and just like you, I’m still finding my feet within them.”
“But—”
“Your advice is valuable, andgood. But it is not applicable to this situation—I am not making things right for anyone, I assure you. Yet, I am grateful all the same.”
“Yilan—”
“I need to prepare for my day. There’s a great deal about to happen. And it’s going to be difficult for all of us. Thank you for your patience and time. I’ll endeavor not to… worry you further,” I said with a pointed look at him.
We both knew we had only moments until a battery of servants arrived with that bath, and we werenotcontinuing this conversation in front of them.
Turo stared at me, frowning, his forehead creased and his jaw flexing. But then he dropped his hands to his sides and his eyes went sad.
“Of course,” he said briskly. Then, nodding once, he saluted me and marched for the door.
When I heard it creak then click as he closed it behind him, I dropped my face into my hands. I couldn’t breathe.
The pain had wafted off of him in waves.
And there was no one to blame for that but me.
8. Weigh it All
~ MELEK ~
I fell into bed and slept again after Yilan left, shying away from the memory of the hurt in her eyes when she told me she loved me, and I kept my mouth shut.
I hadn’t stopped loving her for a moment. But I didn’ttrusther. And giving her those words felt like giving her permission to continue to hide things from me.
