Page 38 of The King is Dead
“No, Turo.” I screwed my eyes up tightly because I couldn’t bear the sight of his grieving. “He didn’ttake.”
“What he did is not the way it should be, don’t let him make you believe—”
I made myself meet his eyes, pleading with him to forgive me. “Turo listen to me. Please. He didn’t take.I gave.”
Turo stopped dead, midstep, and went utterly still. There was a beat, and I saw it all click together in his mind.“What?”
I couldn’t look away from those eyes—confused, angry… and anguished. I couldn’t waver. He had to know. This wouldn’t stop until he did. I licked my lips and had to push the words out of a hoarse throat.
“He did nottakeme, Turo. He is… I gave myself. I-I chose him. Nothing was stolen from me.”
He took a step back, staring at me in horror. “You… gave yourself? Tohim?”
“I did.”
He shook his head slowly, mentally scrambling, but his voice lacked the punch of his earlier passion. “You don’t have to…to tell yourself that to make it right.”
“I’m not. I made the choice. He did not push. I chose it. I chosehim.I’m sorry, Turo, but it’s true.”
He staggered back a step, then caught himself, and the horror on his face turned to rage. “Years,” he breathed. My heart sank. “I waitedyears.Years foryou.”
“I know, and I am so sorry—”
“I waitedyears, and you gave yourself to him inweeks?Is that what you wanted? Is that what you were looking for? A brute? An oafish thug that would handle you like a piece of meat?
I bristled. “No, it’s not—”
“I had heard some women fantasized about this, but I assumed with your inexperience—”
I clenched my hands to fists. “He was not oafish or a brute. He did not mistreat me, Turo. At all.”
He blinked. “He seduced you?” The power returned to his tone. “It is still an offense if he made you believe he cared and you—”
“No, God… Turo… please, I don’t want to keep hurting you,” I breathed, dropping my face into my hands. This was such a mess. Such a horrible, painful mess.
“He fucking seduced you?! Made you his slave?” Turo hissed.
“No! That isn’t—”
There was a pang in the bond, so sharp and clear it stole my breath, and instinctively I turned my head towards the tower, toward where I knew he was. And Turo caught it.
“Even now…” he breathed. “Evennowyou want him—even when herejects your advance.That’s why you’re weeping? That’s why you’re seeking him, and he rages? Can’t you see? He wasusing you,Yilan! Toying with you! Manipulating you—”
“No.”
“God, why do you refuse to see the truth!”
“I don’t,” I said through my teeth. “There is just too much to—”
“He will tell you. This ends now,” Turo said, taking my elbow and marching me across the room. “For your good. And for mysanity—you are going to see that he is not what you think he is. I will ask you to forgive me later. But this is needed, Yilan. You need to understand what’s been done to you—no more dancing around this fucker. We’re going to face it head on.”
I yanked my arm out of his grip. I would have refused to move, but that pang came in the bond again—something was wrong.
I had no idea what Melek would say in the face of this. But I couldn’t fight this anymore. I couldn’t pretend. So, I gestured for Turo to lead the way out. He was wary until he saw that I followed willingly. Then, jaw clenched and eyes blazing, he stormed through the Palace, growling at any guards to let us through, even those outside the cell when we finally made it up the tower stairwell.
And despite my grief for hurting Turo, a piece of me was so relieved to be moving towards Melek, to know I’d see him again in just moments. I hurried my steps.
I’d heard what the bond could do to people. Been told how it drove them together. But I never imagined this…desperation.
