Page 51 of The King is Dead
I growled, but she kept going.
“You were beaten. Defeated, yes.And kept safe.But your pride is so impenetrable you cannot see that we were given to each other by God? I didn’t steal you from that camp to beat the Nephilim. I stole you tosave your fucking life.I didn’t bring you here to be myKing on a leash, Melek. It is how our society has found their King for millennia. I did not conjure shackles for you from thin air—”
“I understand that.”
“Then why do youresist?!”
It was the very question I’d been asking myself for an hour before I went to sleep. The very question I wanted to avoid. Because the truest answer was unflattering, a challenge to who I thought I was, and the consequence of accepting it was… overwhelming.
“Firstly, because you blindsided me,” I snarled, rage at the deception and manipulation she’d wrought rushed back, battering my chest until I had to brace or lash out. I fought with myself for control. “Once the shock passed, I looked at this from every angle. But I cannot see a way through this without… rebellion,” I muttered, “without becoming the very thing I have despised in others. Myonlychoices are to choose you, abandon my people and turn against them, or to grasp a crown I never wanted and attempt to turn the tide of my society from within—and be at war with you. There is nothing… There is nowinning—”
“Be exactly what you are, but from the throne,” she insisted. “Not a rebel. Not a traitor. A leader who sees clearly and desires better and molds the minds and hearts around him towardspeace.Be that, Melek. Be the man that I know you are.”
Brimming with frustration, I took a step forward. “It’s not that simple!”
“Yes, it is. Only, it will be a battle to convince my people that not all of yours are bad. A fight to convince your people that there is another way to live. A battle to bring them together. That is why God appointed it to a soldier. Because He knew it was afight.”
I blinked. I’d never thought of it that way. I caught a glimpse then of how it could be, how I could lead.
An example. An immovable force. To shift culture and mindset and…
But then I tried to imagine the Nephilim doinganythingbut conquering these people and knew it for the fantasy that it was.
“Naïve, and impossible,”I growled.
“Nothing is impossible with God.”
“Then God should have appointedyouKing! Because clearly you have all the answers!”
~ YILAN ~
I flinched. It was only reflex. An adrenaline rush, then gone. But he caught it.
He froze. Neither of us spoke. Then his eyes closed and he cursed and turned away, striding to the other side of the room, muttering under his breath as my heart struggled to find a normal rhythm again, and I was forced to admit that I’d done exactly what I’d told myself I wouldn’t do…
Dammit.
I cleared my throat. “I wasn’t going to bring up the crown again. That wasn’t why I came tonight. That’s not… I’ve avoided the true problem here.”
He went still again, then turned to face me, his expression confused and wary. His brows pinched down over his nose, making his rugged face even fiercer.
He was so handsome, even when he stared at me like I made no sense. “I have never denied that the question of the crown is real, Yilan,” he growled. “Only—”
“It’s not the most important question, though,” I said, finding myself a little breathless, my lungs unwilling to inflate completely.
His frown deepened. “It’s not?”
“No, because… at least inmynation, the only reason you hold any power is because of… ofourbond. If you…” God, the words didn’t want to come. I tore my gaze from his, fixed my eyes on the floor. Made myself speak them. “If you truly do not want to be a… a rebel in the eyes of your people, you would only need to reject our bond. Without me, you have no standing here. Without the bond, you would be free to… to go.”
The word tasted so bitter on my tongue my entire body tensed.
“There is no freedom left to me, Yilan,” he said darkly. “No matter which way I turn, no matter which option I choose—I will never be free again.”
“I can make you free,” I said hoarsely, swallowing again and again to press away the lump building in my throat. “If you would reject me… if you would sever the bond… I can make you free. I have the power to do so. They would never know.”
But I would. I would feel it to mysoulfor the rest of my life. Eventhinkingabout losing Melek made my heart pump wildly and the bond shriek with pain.
Did he feel that too? Or had he walled himself off from that, as well?
