Page 82 of The King is Dead
Then I grasped his hair—the unruly short-length on top that needed a cut now, but that only served to emphasize what we were there to achieve.
While he stood, breathing heavily through his nose, I used my blade to slice the hair on the top of his head from front to back, leaving only the round bunch at the back of his skull uncut. Then,in a move that was more symbolic than anything else, because the hair was barely two inches long, I pulled the leather tie from my warrior’s length and looped it around the bunch of hair in my fist.
It stuck up like a child’s pigtail at the back of his skull, and should have looked ridiculous. Like a clown.
But the picture of my son, standing there with his chin high in pride, and his hair gathered at the back in his warrior’s length made my chest squeeze so tight I could barely breathe. When I spoke, the words were a ragged rasp.
“Gallus Dann Handras, I name you Warrior and brother. And I welcome you to the Nephilim ranks.”
Technically, there should have been a great cheer then. Salutes from all the other soldiers of the same rank. Hands shaken by those that outranked him. And commands given by the highest—the Captains and myself.
But there was only me. And the ritual was done. So I swallowed the lump in my throat and put both hands on his shoulders, turning him to face me.
And he finally met my eyes.
“I’m proud of you, Gall,” I said hoarsely. And then I thanked God when my son’s face crumpled and he dropped his forehead to my chest, his body trembling as he fought not to embrace me.
“This is fine. You can be scared and angry at the same time,” I whispered in his ear, one arm wrapped around his head, the other around his shoulders, holding him to me. “You can be unhappy and happy at the same time. Just feel it, Gall. It will pass. All of it. It will pass.”
Finally, with a low cry, his arms flew from his sides to wrap around my waist and he clung to me, shaking as he fought sobs.
And then I held him while he cried, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.
30. Listen Carefully
~ MELEK ~
When we pulled apart, we both took a moment to breathe and wipe our faces. I watched Gall carefully, uncertain whether this would be a time when he’d forget everything that had gone on before and simply return to being my son, or if he would still want to discuss it. So I waited.
When he had stopped blinking and wiping his face with his knuckles, he turned to face me, but it took some time for him to meet my eyes.
When he didn’t speak, I offered a difficult but genuine smile. “It’s so good to see you, son. You look good. Really good. Being here suits you.”
Gall nodded slowly. “It’s been strange, but I like it here.”
I swallowed and inched closer. “You like it here in this place? Or you like the people?”
Gall shrugged, but his cheeks pinked a little. “Both.”
“Me too, though I have to say, when I saw that cottage I wondered if you were feeling a bit closed in. It seems very small. Even for our tents. Can you stand upright inside?”
He shrugged again. “I just have to be careful moving around. And it’s right for Istral and Harris,” he said, as if that were the only measure.
I opened my mouth to ask about the women, but Gall blurted. “You lied to me.”
I sighed. “I… didn’t mean to,” I said with a wince. “I meant to protect you from possible harm if… if word got out.”
“You didn’t trust me.”
“I trust you with my life, Gall. But I made the wrong decision this time. I thought it might be difficult for you to understand and… I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
He chewed on that for a minute. “I’m still angry, but I love you,” he said finally.
My heart jumped, but I nodded. “I understand. I love you, too. We’ll get through this, Gall, I give you my word.”
“But that’s the problem,” he muttered. “I don’t know if I believe your word anymore.”
God, I wanted the earth to open underneath me and swallow me up. No one could humble me like Gall, because he came from a place of such lack of self-consciousness, his love was given freely, easily, and without restraint. But his hurt was just as black and white. And it made me sick to my stomach when I was the cause of it.
