Page 92 of The King is Dead
“I believe the time has come to roll up our sleeves, brothers,” he said reluctantly. “Can someone order kafk? It’s going to be a long night.”
The youngest of the three young men darted out of his seat and trotted to the door, leaning out to mutter orders to a servant outside.
I took a deep breath, praying we could make some headway here as I followed Turo’s example, unbuttoning my jacket and pulling it off my shoulders. I knew when to reflect those I was trying to make allies.
I made myself stifle the smile that wanted to come when the men all turned to me, begrudging respect on their faces.
“You can speak and will be measured as… a man with honor,” Turo said reluctantly. “But do not let it embolden you. Our advice to the Queen will be for the gain of our people, not yours.”
I wanted to say that they were one and the same, but I only nodded. “I’d expect nothing less. Let’s get to it, then.”
34. Glad You’re Here
~ YILAN ~
I lay in my bed, in the dark, staring at the moonlight piercing the room like spears, each glowing shaft contoured by the hammered screens that Turo had erected on the balcony. It felt like laying in a prison cell where the shafts of light were bars.
Somewhere, deep in the Palace, Melek was still facing the others in Council. I prayed they had found some common ground—or at least the place where they could listen to him without scoffing at every word.
I wasn’t sure whether the fact that Melek hadn’t returned yet was a good sign, or a bad one. There was more than an outside chance the male egos in the room had won and now they were down there beating the shit out of each other.
Grumbling at myself, I tried to push the men out of my mind again. Since returning to the quiet of my suite, thoughts of Melek and Turo and the others kept looming, especially since I couldn’t think back to that room without hearing those words again…
“…Let those of us who have functioned as adults for more than five minutes explain that he has swayed you with sex and virility. But that is no reason for the entire Kingdom to open its legs to these creatures—”
The Council had always presentedsomeresistance to my decisions. That was what good Advisors did—they questioned. Made certain that every possible outcome had been examined and the risks mitigated. But it wasn’t until now, returning with Melek inthe wake of having made all my decisions alone for months, that I was seeing the truth: The men who had been appointed to advise me held me in high regard… to a point. I was beginning to see they subjugated themselves to the crown—not the mind underneath it.
Walking away from that room I’d been overwhelmed with grief and embarrassment and… and for the first time in years I had desperately wanted my mother. If for no other reason than that I knew she understood the challenges of working with noblemen, and she would disdain the attitude they’d shown.
In the wake of that awful conversation, I was glad to see the back of Wellhurst. The man had been one of my mother’s primary advisors, but I’d never liked him. And after tonight I wasn’t sure I could be in his presence without my nose wrinkling like a bad smell.
“…Let those of us who have functioned as adults for more than five minutes explain that he has swayed you with sex and virility. But that is no reason for the entire Kingdom to open its legs to these creatures—”
Was that truly how they all saw me?
I had been a good Princess, and a better Queen. I’d never given them reason to question my morality or virtue. The elders had all known me since I was a girl. Given their own adventures, I hadn’t thought their respect for me as a person was so deeply entwined with that side of my life. I’d never even consideredhow they’d react if faced with a man I’d taken to my bed outside of marriage. It would never have occurred to me to do so. And even though I knew I hadn’t taken Melek outside of the bond,theydidn’t know that.
Of course, to a man, they’d all had their dalliances. But humanity treated men’s sexuality very different than women’s. I’d known that. But I’d never been slapped in the face with it quite so starkly as I was tonight.
Ihatedthat a part of me had wanted to shrink from those words. That I’d allowed shame and humiliation even a breath of time, when IknewI’d done nothing wrong.
But I also knew they couldn’t know that.
Once again, I was the one who was lying. And even though I agreed with Melek’s motive, I lay there in the dark questioning the choice to wait and tell everyone about our bond.
Four more days and a Jubilee and then we could clear all of this up, I reminded myself. Then they’d understandwhyI’d brought Melek to them—and why they could trust him. And me. And finally I would be free to recognize my mate in public.
I sighed with relief. Thoughts of Melek conjured images in my mind and my stomach fluttered.
I was exhausted and nervous and pissed off… and still I yearned for the steel strength of his body.
I’d just faced the most humiliating embarrassment, and still I could barely wait for the High Moon chime because I knew that even if they were fiercely debating, Council would be called to order at that time, so it would be only minutes until Melek returned. His room adjoined mine. I assumed I’d hear him when he returned. I planned to give him a few minutes to gather his thoughts before I let myself into his room.
I wanted my mate. I needed him.
I needed to remember why we were doing this.
With a heavy sigh, I rolled over to face the window and those shafts of light plunging through from the balcony.
