Page 11 of All My Witches
“Cinder Cramer could be friend or foe – nobody knows – because she’s never one thing on any given day,” the television voice explained. “She’s from a rich family, yet earns her money in a variety of different ways. She’s a naughty nurse by day and a steamy waitress by night, stripping for tips at the local dive bar when she wants extramoney.”
“Oh, Clove won’t like this,” I muttered when I recognized the dark-haired woman cavorting onscreen.
“Of course, it’s not Cinder’s fault,” the voice continued. “That’s what happens when you have multiple personalities and only one body for them all toshare.”
“Multiple personalities?” Landon was flummoxed. “Is that really athing?”
I shrugged, noncommittal. “It depends on who you ask,” I replied. “Some people think it’s real. Some don’t. It’s a regular fixture on soaps,though.”
“Oh, well, good. I thought things would be boringotherwise.”
I ignored his sarcasm and pointed at the screen. “It’s notdone.”
“Cinder isn’t alone in her struggle. She has the love of a good man to help her … that is when he’s not helping Ferrigno with his criminal empire. Cane Wharton is a famous attorney who survives off the proceeds he makes from defending Ferrigno – even though the guilt is almost too much for him to bear – but he follows his true heart’s desire when he has the time. That means long shifts in the hospital where he volunteers his free time as a brain surgeon onweekends.”
This time the laugh Landon let loose with was so loud it caused me to jerk my shoulders. “He’s a criminal attorney during the week and a brain surgeon on weekends? Who comes up with thisstuff?”
“If you watch soaps, you know that you have to suspend disbelief,” I explained. “Aunt Tillie used to have us watch with her all the time when we were kids. She’d get really intoit.”
“Did you likeit?”
I shrugged. “The guys werehot.”
“Now they’re really hot.” Landon pointed to his image on the screen. “I’m like the hottest soap hero ever,huh?”
“You’re notbad.”
“Not bad.” Landon moved closer, poking me in the side to cajole a smile. Apparently he was feeling better. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying himself. Unfortunately for him, I didn’t expect the feeling tolast.
I opened my mouth to tease him, fully embrace the light mood, but I didn’t get the chance because the television was talkingagain.
“Pulling all the strings in the quiet hamlet of Camelot Falls is Alexis Kane,” the voice intoned. “She’s more than the mother of a mobster. She’s more than the smartest woman in town. She’s more than the most powerful being on the planet. She’s …everything.”
“Oh, I bet I know who Alexis is,” Landongrowled.
I knew, too, and we were both right. Aunt Tillie’s face swam into view. She wore a bejeweled floor-length gown with blue accents, more makeup than I’d seen her wear during the course of her life, and a gleaming tiara that boasted what looked to be realdiamonds.
“This isn’t going to be good,” Isaid.
“No.” Landon linked his fingers with mine. Perhaps he wanted to make me feel better. Maybe he wanted to make himself feel better. Probably it was a little of both. He anchored himself to me, and we watched the rest with unfetteredawe.
“Alexis is a mother first and a megalomaniac second,” the voice said. “While she’s anxious and capable when it comes to her son’s business, she’s more interested in her scientificendeavors.”
“Scientific endeavors?” Landon was beyond amused. “Why do I picture those geeks inGhostbusters?”
Oddly, that sounded aboutright.
“Alexis is keeping her big plan to herself, but those in the know are terrified of her power and fury,” the voice said. “What does she have planned? It’s anyone’s guess, but right now her main goal is to finish construction of her freezingray.”
“Freezing ray?” Landon’s shoulders shook with unconstrained laughter. “Now it’s veering into comic bookterritory.”
“The freezing ray will be aimed at her enemies – and that list is almost endless – but her ultimate goal is to control the world’s water supply,” the voice continued. “If she can freeze the water before delivering it, she’ll be able to unleash her ultimate weapon … the snow sharks ofdoom.”
“Oh, that did it.” Landon swung his legs over the side of the bed. “She can’t be serious with thisone.”
Sadly, I had a feeling she was completely serious … and that was before Aunt Tillie appeared on the screen. It was a close-up of her face, the blue eyeshadow so garish that it reminded me of a mutant Smurf. She opened her mouth to speak, and that’s when I knew we were in a very specialworld.
“I’ll get you if it’s the last thing I ever do,” Aunt Tillie cackled, her eyes locking with mine through the screen. “You’re all on mylist.”
