Page 39 of All My Witches
“Oh, that’s a really great choice,” Clove enthused. “I love GeorgeClooney.”
“You love me more,right?”
Clove nodded without hesitation. “Absolutely.”
“Stop talking!” Mrs. Little bellowed. “You’re ruining themoment.”
“Yeah, we’re not participating in the moment,” Landon announced, grabbing my hand and dragging me away from the crazy people in the center of the hallway. “We have someplace to be. It was lovely seeing the both of you. We’ll have to meet for coffee eventually … at a time far, far down theroad.”
“I won’t let you escape,” Mrs. Little shrieked, raising her hand to show off what looked to be a wicked-looking scalpel. “It’s time to create a differentworld!”
My mouth dropped open as Mrs. Little raced forward. “Are we in a horror movienow?”
No one answered. No one had time to answer. Out of nowhere, a fissure opened in the hallway – one that barely offered any shake or sound – and Mrs. Little dropped into it before she even got close tous.
“What was that?” Landon practically exploded as he raced forward and stared into the crevice. “This is like a huge crack. It goes down hundreds offeet.”
“I think this happened onGeneral Hospital,” Clove noted. “One of the supervillains had a son and he was hidden in a crack beneath the hospital for decades. I remember Aunt Tillie saying that she would totally like to hide her enemies in a crack beneath HemlockCove.”
“I guess she finally got her chance,” I supplied, shaking my head. “That was weird,huh?”
“You’re just now getting that?” Landonchallenged.
“It was totally weird,” Thistle confirmed. “It was still kind of fun. Although … is anybody worried that Aunt Tillie might really try to transplant her brain into someone else’s body so she never dies? That totally sounds like something she woulddo.”
It was a ridiculous thought, and yet … . “We’ll make sure she doesn’t have any creepy brain jars in her room when we get out ofthis.”
Thistle nodded, solemn. “Goodplan.”
* * *
That crazy villainlady just cursed the wedding party. It was totally cheesy and she didn’t even rhyme. I still like herstyle.
– Aunt Tillie finds her soap opera spiritanimal
Ten
Once we recoveredfrom Mrs. Little’s disappearance, we left Sandy to gnash her teeth and scream about bloody vengeance. Aunt Tillie’s giggles continued until we reached the end of a hallway, and when we opened the door and stepped through it we found ourselves in an entirely differentlocation.
Landon was baffled. “Whatthe… ?”
I tilted my head to the side as I studied the large living room. Just to make sure, I glanced over my shoulder and found the door we’d walked through seconds before wasgone.
“Apparently this is a magical soap opera world,” I offered, pursing my lips. “Does anyone recognize thisset?”
Thistle moved to a cabinet on a nearby wall and stared at the framed photographs on display. “No, but we’re in thesephotos.”
I moved closer, raising my eyebrows as I focused on a photo that showed Landon and me standing in front of a large building. The bricks were brown and as far as I could tell, it looked to be something of a communal apartment complex. “Hmm.”
Landon looked over my shoulder. “If we’re taking photographs together, how am I working undercover in this world? I don’t getit.”
“You’re far too practical,” Thistle said. “Soaps rewrite the rules whenever it suits them. If the writers kill off a character because the actor wants to leave, for example, then they simply bring him or her back through some contrived occurrence later if the actor decides he wants to return. It’s a thing. You need to get used to it if you’re going to adapt to thisworld.”
“I don’t want to adapt to this world. It’s a stupidworld.”
“We still need to get through it,” I reminded him. “I’m sorry about this, by the way. I’m sorry you have to go throughit.”
Landon’s expression softened. “Bay, we’ve been over this a hundred times. This isn’t your fault. Whenever this happens – and it seems to happen quite often these days – I don’t blame you. I need you to knowthat.”
