Page 55 of All My Witches
“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” Aunt Tillie countered. “Besides, I’m the leadinglady.”
Thistle snorted. “You can’t be the leading lady. Soaps are ageist. Once you hit forty you became the matriarch, not the leading lady. I’m the leading lady, for the record. We all knowit.”
“You aren’t the leading lady,” Clove argued. “You’re too mean to be the leading lady. You’re the sidekick, the comic relief. You’re occasionally used for a plot device or to make someone pay. The leading lady can’t bemean.”
“And I suppose you think you’re the leading lady,” Thistle saiddryly.
Clove folded her arms over her chest and lifted her chin. “It makes the mostsense.”
“How do youfigure?”
“Bay is too boring to be the heroine,” Clove replied. “You’re too mean. That leaves me. I’m perfect. I’m cute. I’m a good person. I can cry without thinking about it. I’m obviously the leadinglady.”
Wait a second … . “I’m too boring to be the leading lady? That’s a bunch ofhogwash.”
“You’re not boring, sweetie.” Landon patted my shoulder. “You’re perfectly fine the way you are. In fact, I think you’re the least boring person in theworld.”
I stared at him for a long moment. “You know you have lipstick on your chin,right?”
Landon’s hand automatically flew to his face. “What?”
“Yeah. It just so happens to match Lila’slipstick.”
“That’s my lipstick,” Lilacorrected.
“That’s what I justsaid.”
“My name isQueenie.”
“Ugh, I’m so sick of the ridiculous names in this world,” I complained. “I can’t tell you how annoying these namesare.”
“Tell me about it,” Hutch lamented. “You’d think people would have betternames.”
“Yeah,Hutch,” Thistle said dryly. “You’re definitely the person who should be complaining about stupidnames.”
Hutch was placid. “I thought so,too.”
“Ugh.” Thistle slapped her hand to her forehead. “This place is stupid. You know what? I don’t care that I’m not the leading lady. I can live with that if we get out ofhere.”
“Thank you.” Clove bobbed her head. “I’m glad you see things myway.”
Thistle snorted. “You’re not the leading lady. You might as well get over that right now. Aunt Tillie set this up so Bay is the leading lady and that means Landon is the hero. That’s why he has a woman in every port, so tospeak.”
“Yes, it’s a lovely development,” I agreed, glaring at the pink lipstick on hischin.
“I didn’t kiss her.” Landon swiped at his face again. “She threw herself at me. I, being a loyal boyfriend, explained that I wanted nothing to do with her.” He looked to Marcus and Sam for support. “Tellher.”
“Oh, we’re your sidekicks,” Sam drawled. “How can we possibly know the motivations of the leadingman?”
Landon looked desperate. “Bay… .”
I held up my hand to still him. “I know you didn’t kiss her. Trust me. No one would want to kiss thatfrog.”
“Hey!” Lila was affronted. “Jericho and I are inlove.”
“Stop saying that,” Landon ordered. “It gives me a sourstomach.”
“Oh, well, if that’s how you want to be.” Lila reared back and slapped Landon across the face, putting as much effort as possible behind the blow. Landon barely reacted. “You’ve broken my heart and I hope you know I’m going to make youpay.”
