Page 174 of Grim and Oro
“Of course. Plant with five points? Green spots? Yellow buds?”
I nod.
“Giselroot. Poisonous. Causes a rash and bad dreams.”
I blink, dumbstruck.
She forms the beginnings of a smile—andthat smile. It latches onto something in me and pulls. Her smile is like a sunset. Something worth waiting for, and impossible to look away from. Something that makes the rest of the world feel small and insignificant.
“All right, the bad dreams might have just been a tactic by my guardians to keep me away from them.” I think about the golden roses my mother used to place on my and Egan’s pillows for the same purpose. “You’ll want to treat that with an elixir of milk, tomato paste, honey, willow bark, pasted ash, and crushed mulberries.”
Why is she helping me? I bite out the words, because they’re expected: “Thank you.” I assume that will be the end of it.
Then, those green eyes narrow at me. “Giselroot only grows deep in the woods, where the trees are close enough to touch. What in the realm were you doing in a place like that?”
I blink. She’s perceptive. Of course she is.
I’m saved from answering by the start of the demonstration. And then, by the cold water calming my heated skin.
Cleo’s demonstration is a test of desire. And it feels like I’ve been tested in it from the moment I stepped into this arena.
Tablets reflecting each of our greatest wants have been positioned at the end of the maze. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll feel the pull of the tablet. We’ll complete the demonstration quicker.
I feel the tether. And just like during the Starling demonstration, I have a fierce need to know what it says, so I can conquer it. Desires are just pretty distractions.
As I part the waters, swimming as fast as I can, knowing I need to win this, all I can think about is that smile.
I don’t want to think about it.
I don’t want to think about her.
So why can’t I stop?
This must be her Wildling enchantment at play, but I’ve never succumbed to it before. I’ve always been able to see the lies behind previous advances ... and, if I think about it, she hasn’t even really tried anything.
All she’s done is sing ... for herself. And ... look at me? And smile?
No. Nothing she has done is even that special. She is not special, I tell myself.
She is not captivating.
You do not want her.
I taste the bitterness, even as I dive around a corner, following the thread of desire, and swallow a mouthful of cold water.
I remember what Calder said, centuries before. He was right.
Aren’t those the greatest lies of all?
The ones we tell ourselves?
My desperation grows, my need toknow. What is it that I want from her? What is it that I want at all? Once I know, I can change. I can bury down the desire. I canfix itso that I can focus clearly on saving the island.
A bell rings the moment I reach the end. I grab my tablet and press it firmly against myself. It isn’t until I’m fully warm, in the privacy of my room, that I allow myself to look at it.
A heavy weight settles in my chest. My greatest desire might as well be a death sentence.
It says:love.
