Page 61 of Triple Power Play 3
She trembles, fighting back tears, her breath coming in ragged gasps.
I brush my knuckles along her cheekbone. “You’re okay. Just breathe. You’re panicking, angel, but nothing has changed. Jax and Ethan are only trying to protect you. Your husband is the same unhinged, reckless person he has always been. He had no intention of anyone seeing the videos, and if I hadn’t found his phone at Kyle’s, nobody would’ve known.” I release her wrists and sweep her hair from her damp face. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe. You can trust me.”
She glares daggers at me, and I lie on my back, giving her space. I never considered how my actions affected her. At one point, I was the one she depended on, the one constant in her life, and I ripped that away when she discovered I was an agent. In Bryant Park, she asked about the future indirectly. Her hesitation is understandable. She’d never compromise her loyalty to Jax and Ethan.
For whatever reason, maybe because she thought I was leaving again, she got up the courage to ask me to stay, and I shot her down.
Then, Charlie.
She rolls onto her side and rests her head on my shoulder, her arm around me. “What are we doing?”
“I don’t know.” I’m just as confused as she is.
“I’m sorry I kicked you.”
“I’m sorry for what you overheard. I’m still living a double life, and sometimes, it’s easier to be dismissive. I didn’t mean it, you know that.” I lean down and nuzzle her because I can’t help myself. Her skin is incredibly soft, and her seductive scent messes with my head. “Are you worried I’ll leave you? It’s only us. Be honest with me.”
A shaky breath escapes her. “I am honest with you. I told you I wanted you to stay.”
Fuck, I wish she’d give me a straight answer. Or one I can understand, at least. “Why do you want me to stay?”
She peers up at me, eyes red and her lips swollen. My heart slams into my rib cage. Our faces are only inches apart. I could easily weave my fingers through her hair and kiss her, as I’ve imagined many,manytimes.
“What’s the point of asking if you’ll only get angry with my answer?”
Our gazes lock, and I sense the significance of this moment.A heavy silence hangs between us, the unspoken truththreatening to crush me either way. It’s time to face reality and confront whatever this is—no more playing. No more pretending. No more fantasizing. No more beating around the bush.
When I stay silent, she releases a disappointed sigh, and her shoulders sag. “You want me to tell you what to do. You want me to say things I can’t, make promises I can’t. I’m giving you everything you said was enough, but it’s not, is it?”
Her lips tremble. A tear slides down the bridge of her nose, and I brush it away with my thumb, my fingers lingering on her cheek.
Is this enough for me? I’m not so sure anymore. I find myself wanting more and more, and that’s where the frustration lies.
I swallow hard, my voice rough when I say, “I guess not.”
“So, yeah. I’m afraid you’ll leave because eventually, you will. I want you here for selfish reasons. A part of me wishes you’d stop doing this—coming into my life and pretending to be what I need, pretending this is enough for you, pretending you’re staying.” She searches my eyes. “I won’t blame you if you leave. You should. You deserve better. You deserve someone who’ll love you without boundaries.”
I’m not pretending. I’ve told her this before, but none of that matters. What matters is how she feels, and her words have my stomach taking a dive.
I glide my fingers into her hair and cup the back of her head. “Say that again.”
Her brows furrow. “You deserve better.”
“Keep going.”
“You deserve someone who’ll love you without boundaries.”
“Do you love me?Withboundaries?”
Her lips part as her eyes well up, tears clinging to her long lashes. “That’s not fair of me to answer.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
I nod. My throat goes dry, and I swallow again. “I’m not pretending. I’m here because it physically hurts me to stay away. I leave because of my job, which may continue to happen, as much as I don’t want it to.” I kiss her forehead then her nose, tasting the salt of her tears. “I’ll always find my way back to you.”
She lays her head on my chest and closes her eyes. “Ethan wants you here. Jax wouldn’t let you live here if he didn’t.”
The implication of more, regardless of her intentions, goes straight to my heart…and other places.
Needing to clear my head before I do something stupid, I pull the blanket down. The room is darker now, full of shadows, as if the universe wills us to have this moment alone.
