Page 70 of Crown of Storm and Silence
Him not wanting the baby, and what we just suffered, mingles together, and I draw my knees closer to my chest. Light flares up in the room again as my emotions clash. I want him to hold me, but I also don't want him near me. I want to hurt him, and I wield my words like a sword. "Where were you when we needed you?"
His eyes close briefly. "I got there as fast as I could."
Hysteria claws at my chest. "They hurt us." I roar, my hands running to my stomach.
His eyes snap open. "I know." His roar sends my light scattering, and the room drops in temperature. "I know what they did. I know I should have been there." He's panting, his gaze wild.
I bite my lip to try and hold back the waves of pain. "They hurt our baby." Tears pour down my face.
Kaan reaches for me, and I crawl into his lap. "You have to make them pay." Anger swirls and light bursts against darkness. "You need to make them pay." I sob.
"They will pay, I give you my oath, even if it costs me my last breath, every one of them will pay,hatun."
I bury my head into his shoulder, my baby kicks in distress, and I know I need to calm down. I shiver, and when I open my eyes, crystals have formed on every surface. My emotions for Kaan are like a yo-yo. I want to take his pain away. I lean back and look at him, taking his face in my hands. I have no words left. He covers my hands with his and leans his forehead against mine, but I see something so broken in his gaze.
"You need to rest." He closes his eyes, and the room transforms, the frost leaving, the light returning like he is placing his own emotions into a box. The baby kicks again, and when Kaan opens his eyes, I see the tears. I watch one fall down his cheek, before he leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. "Sleep,hatun."
As he lays me back and sleep starts to take hold, I hear his final words.
"For what it's worth," he says quietly, "I've never wanted anything more than I want that child. Both of you. You're everything to me."
Sleep drags me under, and I find myself in a field of green, a soft breeze pressing against my face, and a sense of peace that I didn't know existed.
24
The Unraveling
Kaan
The door closesbehind me with a soft click that echoes like a death knell in the sterile corridor. I lean against the obsidian wall, my entire body shaking as her words replay in my mind with the vicious persistence of a curse designed to drive men mad.
"You looked at me like I was asking you to embrace your own destruction."
The truth of it cuts deeper than any blade, more devastating than any torture Erlik ever devised. Because she's right. In that moment, when the understanding crashed over me that she might be carrying my child, I looked at her exactly like that. Like she was offering me the very thing that would destroy whatever remained of my sanity.
But not because I didn't want it.
Because I wanted it so desperately, it terrified me.
Her words trigger something deeper—a memory I've spent two centuries trying to forget, dragging me back to anotherconversation that began with shy hope and ended in ashes and screaming.
The observatory in the Shadow Court gleams like captured starlight, its crystal dome reflecting the eternal twilight that marks the boundary between realms. Isil stands silhouetted against the massive windows, her golden hair flowing like liquid silk down her back, catching the ethereal light in waves of spun metal. Even in profile, her beauty is breathtaking—aristocratic features carved from marble and shadow, sapphire eyes that hold depths of ancient wisdom, skin that seems to glow with subtle luminescence. She's shadow nobility incarnate, everything graceful and powerful in the darkness distilled into perfect feminine form. She watches distant stars dance in patterns that speak of possibility and new beginnings.
"Kaan," she says without turning, and there's something in her voice—wonder mixed with nervous excitement that makes my heart leap against my ribs. "Come here. I want to show you something."
I cross the space between us, my boots silent on the polished marble. Even after a decade together, she still steals my breath. The way she moves like liquid shadow, the way her presence seems to command whatever space she occupies. She's wearing a simple dark dress that flows around her like captured twilight, and when she finally turns to face me, her smile could illuminate the darkest corners of Karanlik.
"Look," she whispers, taking my hand and pressing it against her stomach. "Do you feel it?"
At first, there's nothing but the warmth of her skin beneath the silk. Then—so faint I almost miss it—a flutter of life energy, pure and bright. A tiny presence that calls to the darkness in me with innocent recognition.
"Isil," I breathe, understanding crashing over me like a wave. "Are you...?"
"Pregnant," she confirms, tears of joy streaming down her face as she laughs with pure, unfettered happiness. "We're going to have a baby, my love. A child born of shadows."
The joy that explodes through me is so intense it's painful. I drop to my knees, pressing my forehead against her belly, my hands reverent as they map the place where our child grows.
"A miracle," I whisper, my voice breaking completely. "You've given me a miracle."
