Page 49 of Crown of Light and Ashes
"I'd like to know," I interrupt, genuinely amused despite myexhaustion, "If Nesilhan always talks to thin air, or if I'm witnessing a special occasion."
Banu cackles. "Oh, constantly. Long, detailed conversations. Sometimes she argues with you. She makes a terrible impression, by the way." The fairy deepens her voice comically. "'I am Kaan, I brood magnificently and make poor life choices! Worship my mighty shadows while I dramatically sweep my cape and glower seductively!'"
Nesilhan makes a strangled noise.
"That's actually not bad," I admit, grinning. "Though I prefer to think of myself as contemplative rather than brooding. And my cape-sweeping is an art form, thank you very much."
"She also practices other things," Banu continues wickedly. "Like what she'd like to do to you in bed—both the murdering kind and the considerably more entertaining kind. She's quite creative with those light daggers of hers. Did you know they can be shaped into—"
"That's enough!" Nesilhan lunges for the fairy, who darts easily out of reach.
"Fine, fine. I'll behave." Banu stands closer to the bedpost. "You're no fun when you're worried. Though I must say, your concern for the big, bad Shadow Boy is adorable. 'Oh, please don't die, Kaan. Who would I stare longingly at during council meetings?'"
"I'm not worried," Nesilhan says automatically.
"Please," Banu scoffs. "You haven't slept properly in six days, and you've been mixing potions until your fingers are raw. If that's not worry, I don't know what is." She leans toward me conspiratorially. "She threw a water pitcher at Emir when he tried to bring in the court healers. It was magnificent. Hit him right in the…"
"Six days?" I interrupt, looking at Nesilhan with newfound appreciation. "You've been fighting this curse for six days?"
She avoids my gaze. "As I said before, self-preservation."
"So you claim," I reply softly. "Yet there was nothing self-preserving about keeping my shadow lords away. If anything, their power might have eased your burden."
"Or killed us both if their magic triggered a reaction with the curse," she counters, but there's a flush creeping up her neck that suggests there might be more to it.
Banu makes an exaggerated gagging noise. "And that's my cue to leave before this gets sickeningly sweet. You two and your mutual denial is exhausting." She walks closer to Nesilhan's shoulder and whispers loudly enough for me to hear: "Remember what I told you about the potion. You've only got three days before it wears off completely, and his pretty head will be all up in your thoughts again."
Nesilhan tenses, glancing at me with something like panic. Interesting. Very interesting.
"Goodbye, Shadow Boy," Banu calls, fluttering toward the wall. "Try not to die. Nesil would be terribly put out, and she's already a nightmare when she's grumpy. Though between us, I think you'd find her even more attractive when she's stabbing you. You have that look about you."
With that, the fairy zips across the room and disappears through what appears to be a solid wall.
"So," I say into the silence that follows, "do I have a fever-induced hallucination to thank for the most entertainment I've had in days, or did I just meet your fairy friend?"
Nesilhan sighs deeply, her fingers twisting the ring on her forefinger that she has worn since she arrived at my court. When she becomes aware of what she is doing, she stops. "Banu was right about one thing. You won't remember any of this tomorrow."
"That seems convenient," I observe, though I can already feel a strange haziness creeping back into my thoughts, the brief clarity fading. "Though it is a shame. I quite like her. Almost as much as I like the idea of you practicing arguments with me when I am notaround." I lean forward slightly, enjoying the way her breath catches. "And what is that about longing stares in council meetings?"
"You're still delirious," she says firmly, but the flush spreading across her cheeks tells a different story.
The room begins to spin again, and I make my way back to the bed just as I find it increasingly difficult to keep my eyes open. The last thing I see before darkness claims me is Nesilhan's face, worry and something softer mingling in her expression.
My last conscious thought is that I hope I will remember this—not the pain or the shadows, but Nesilhan's unwavering presence and the strange, wonderful moment when the veil between worlds has thinned enough for me to glimpse something magical.
As consciousness slips away, I think I hear Nesilhan's voice, unexpectedly gentle: "Rest now. I'll be here when you wake."
And for once in my life, I believe a promise.
Chapter Fifteen
Shadows of Prophecy
Nesilhan
MY FINGERS TREMBLE as I turn another delicate page, the ancient text crumbling slightly despite my careful handling. The library's hushed silence presses around me like a physical weight, broken only by my shallow breathing.
Three days since Kaan's fever broke. Three days of avoiding his penetrating gaze that seems to strip away my defenses. Three days of feeling the bond-blocking potion fade, his presence growing stronger at the edges of my consciousness with each passing hour.
