Page 108 of Crown of Light and Ashes
I stride through the corridors toward our chambers, my shadows flowing about me in agitated patterns that betray my inner turmoil. What he said struck closer to the truth than I care to admit. Love. Perhaps that is what this unfamiliar ache in my chest signifies. This constant awareness of her, this need to ensure her safety, her happiness.
This terror at the thought of losing her.
As I round the corner, I spot Banu slipping out of our chambers, her expression uncharacteristically serious. She freezes when she sees me, her small form tensing as if preparing for flight.
"Shadow Boy," she greets me with forced lightness. "Fancy meeting you in your own palace. How unexpected. Almost as if you live here or something."
"Fairy," I reply, narrowing my eyes at her obvious discomfort. "Troubling my wife again with your chaotic influence?"
"Me? Chaotic? I'm a paragon of stability and good judgment," she protests, her wings fluttering nervously. "Just providing some... friendly advice. Girl talk. Completely ordinary, boring, nothing-to-see-here girl talk."
Before I have the chance to press her further, Emir appears behind me, having apparently followed from my study. Banu's eyes immediately dart to him, her silvery hair shifting to a telling pink that clashes horribly with her lavender dress.
"General," she acknowledges with unusual formality.
"Lady Banu," he returns with equal stiffness.
I glance between them, momentarily distracted by the palpable tension. "How fascinating," I muse aloud. "The fairy actually rendered speechless. I should commemorate this historic moment. Perhaps commission a painting: 'The Silencing of the Perpetually Chattering Nuisance.'"
Her face flushes. "I have important fairy business elsewhere," she announces, backing away. "Very urgent. Probably involving... moon dust. Or something equally sparkly and important."
She bumps directly into my general, who steadies her with automatic gentleness. Their eyes lock for a heartbeat too long to be casual.
"Excuse me," she murmurs, uncharacteristically subdued, before darting away in a flash of silver light.
"Not a word," he warns me as the door closes behind her.
"I wouldn't dream of it," I reply innocently. "Though I do wonder what color your children's wings would be. Silver like her hair? Or perhaps they'd inherit your perpetual gloom, manifesting as little rain clouds instead of wings? Tiny, scowling, flying rain clouds. The very thought is delightful."
His glare could wither entire forests, but I merely smile innocently before turning toward my chambers.
"Do let me know if you need romantic advice," I call over my shoulder. "I'm told I'm quite the expert on seduction techniques. Just ask any of the terrified courtiers who've found themselves in my bed over the centuries."
His reply is too muttered to hear clearly, but I catch enough to know it's both anatomically impossible and decidedly unflattering.
I find my wife standing by the window, silhouetted against the perpetual twilight that bathes the Shadow Court. She wears a simple gown of deep blue that hugs the curves I've come to know intimately, her dark hair loose around her shoulders.
"My shadows sensed your return to our chambers," I say by way of greeting. "Missing me already? I know I'm irresistible, but this level of dependency might become problematic."
She turns, and my breath catches at the sight of her face. Something has changed since this morning. Something in her golden eyes, in the set of her mouth.
"I was consulting with Banu about... court matters," she murmurs, her voice carefully controlled.
"That fairy knows less about court protocol than a drunken troll," I observe, moving closer to her. "Unless it was fashion advice you sought? She does have a unique sense of style. All that... glitter. It's like she murdered a rainbow and rolled in the remains."
A trace of a smile flickers across her features. "I've grown fond of her peculiarities."
"As have others, apparently," I murmur, thinking of my general's uncharacteristic reaction. "Though her taste in men is questionable. Stern, perpetually worried, speaks primarily in disapproving grunts..."
"And what of yours?" she asks, watching me with those perceptive golden eyes. "Your taste in women?"
I reach her at last, close enough to catch her scent, sunlight, and something floral, with an underlying sweetness that's uniquely hers. My body responds instantly, shadows coiling around my feet in anticipation.
"Impeccable," I reply, voice dropping to a lower register as I trace my finger along her jawline. "I only choose the most dangerous, defiant creatures. The ones who might actually be capable of killing me in my sleep. It adds a certain... excitement to breakfast, wondering if today's the day you'll finally put that assassin training to use."
"Is that what draws you to me?" she asks softly. "The danger?"
"Among other qualities," I admit, my hand sliding into her hair, cradling the back of her head. "Your intelligence. Your strength. Yourremarkable capacity to surprise me, even after all this time. The way your eyes flash gold when you're angry. The sound you make when I touch you just... here." My fingers brush the sensitive spot behind her ear, drawing a small, involuntary shiver.
