Page 28 of Crown of Light and Ashes
"Finish quickly," I tell her, rising from the bath despite the lingering ache in my muscles. Water cascades down my body as the younger servants hurry to wrap me in soft towels. "I wish to walk the grounds. I need fresh air."
"Lord Kaan has left instructions that you're not to go unaccompanied—"
"Then the guards can watch from a distance," I interrupt. "But I will not be caged in these rooms. That is final."
The servants exchange glances, clearly uncomfortable with the compromise between their master's orders and my demands. But I am their mistress now, a bizarre technicality that creates a delicate balance of authority.
They help me dress in a gown of midnight blue silk, Shadow Court colors, but not the stark black I wore yesterday. The fabric is light and flowing, but higher-necked than I expected, covering the worst of the bruises on my throat—a small mercy.
As they arrange my hair in a simple style, I catch Lira watching me in the mirror. There's a question in her eyes that she's too cautious to voice.
"Speak," I tell her. "Whatever it is, just say it."
"It's not my place," she begins, but I cut her off with a sharp look. She swallows, then continues, "There are duties expected of the Shadow Lady. The household steward will attend you after breakfast to review them."
"What sort of duties?" I keep my voice neutral, but my mind is already cataloging ways to subvert whatever they expect of me.
"Overseeing the household staff, managing the domestic concerns of the palace, attending court when required." Lira hesitates before adding, "And producing an heir, of course."
The thought makes my stomach turn. I will die before I bear Kaan's child.
"I see," is all I say. "Well, the steward will have to wait. As I said, I wish to walk the grounds first."
"My lady, Lord Kaan was very specific about your safety—"
"Then the guards will do their job from arespectful distance," I say firmly. "I'm not asking to leave the grounds. Just to breathe air that doesn't smell of shadows."
The servants exchange nervous glances, but Lira finally nods. "Yes, my lady. I'll inform the captain of the guard about the... compromise."
"Good." I stand, ready to escape these oppressive rooms. "Now, show me the way out."
Lira leads me through a maze of corridors, pointing out important locations as we go: the main hall, the library, and the dining room, where I'm expected to take meals with Kaan. I memorize each turn, each doorway, building a mental map I'll need if I'm ever to escape this place.
The eastern gardens are through a set of glass doors that lead outside. The moment I step through them, I breathe easier. The sky is a deep blue rather than the inky black I saw from my chambers' windows. Plants I don't recognize grow in carefully tended beds, flowers with petals the color of garnets and amethysts, leaves that seem to pulse with a life of their own.
I follow a winding path away from the palace, alert for any sign of pursuit. The guards keep their distance as promised, close enough to intervene if needed, but far enough away that I can't make out their individual features. Still, I feel their eyes on me, a constant weight of observation.
As I walk, I try to assess the blood bond Kaan spoke of. I can feel it now that I'm paying attention—a strange warmth in my chest that pulses stronger when my emotions run high, a subtle awareness of him that seems to intensify with proximity or strong feeling. Is he sensing my emotions through it? Can he tell that beneath my calm exterior, I'm churning with hatred and fear and grief?
The garden path ends at a high stone wall—the boundary of the palace grounds. Beyond it lies the forest where Aslan died. Where I lost everything.
I glance back toward the guards, gauging their distance. They've positioned themselves where they can see me clearly, but are too far away to hear normal conversation. I approach the wall, analyzing its height—at least twelve feet high, with a mostly smooth surface. A normal person would find it impossible to scale.
But I am not normal. I am a trained assassin of the Light Court.
I back up several paces, preparing to make my leap, gathering the light blue silk of my dress and tucking it into my undergarments to free my legs. I take a deep breath, ready to run toward the wall.
"Nesi, stop!" A tiny voice cuts through the garden's silence. "Not here. Too much magical surveillance watching."
I freeze, recognizing the voice immediately. "Banu?"
A faint shimmer appears near a flowering bush to my right, though I can barely make out her form.
"Not here," the voice hisses urgently. "The shadow magic here has eyes of its own, beyond just the guards. Go back to your chambers. I'll meet you there, the wards are different in personal spaces."
I hesitate, glancing longingly at the wall, my temporary escape so close. But then a flicker of joy rushes through me at the sound of Banu's voice. My best friend is here! Even in this prison of shadows, I'm not completely alone. I smooth my dress back into place and turn toward the palace, my steps quickening with anticipation rather than resignation.
"I'll be waiting," I whisper, my voice barely audible even to myself. I understand her caution, a fae creature from the Forgotten Grove discovered in the Shadow Lord's palace would face a fate worse than death.
