Page 34 of Crown of Light and Ashes
"Am I?" Her smile turns knowing. "I can sense these things, Nesi. My kind always can. There's a bond between you beyond the magical one, a pull you keep fighting."
"The only thing I feel for him is hatred," I insist.
"Hatred, desire, sometimes they're not so different." She shrugs. "Both consume you, both keep you awake at night, both make your heart race when you see him…"
Her head suddenly jerks up, eyes widening with alarming delight. "He's coming."
Panic floods through me. "Then go," I urge.
Instead of vanishing, she reaches into a tiny pouch at her waist and pulls out a handful of what looks like golden dust that shimmers with otherworldly light.
"What are you…"
Without warning, she blows the enchanted powder directly into my face. I reel backward, coughing as the particles fill my lungs, sparkling on my eyelashes and lips like liquid fire.
"What the hell is that?" I demand, trying to wipe the dust away. It clings to my skin, sinking in like molten gold, leaving trails of searing heat wherever it touches.
Banu's smile turns wickedly knowing. "Faerie dust mixed with powdered moonstone, essence of night-blooming jasmine, and a touch of healing magic. I can sense all that pent-up tension in your body, sweet one. This will strip away your inhibitions, let you feel what you truly desire, and ease that pesky wrist injury so nothing holds you back."
"Enjoy what? Banu, what did you…"
But she's already fading, her laughter lingering in the air like silver bells. "Consider it a gift! Sometimes the only way forward is to stop fighting what you truly crave and surrender to it completely."
Before I can respond, she disappears entirely, leaving me alone in the alcove with liquid fire coursing through my veins. Something fundamental shifts inside me, my skin suddenly hypersensitive to every whisper of air, every nerve ending alive with raw awareness. The throbbing pain in my wrist begins to fade, replaced by a warm, tingling sensation that spreads up my arm. My body feels like it's awakening from a long sleep, every sensation magnified tenfold, and I can feel the mental barriers I usually keep firmly in place starting to soften like wax near flame.
"Licking your wounds, are we?"
Kaan's voice coming from directly behind me sends a jolt of pure electricity through my body that's nothing like the fear it should be. I turn to find him leaning against the stone wall, arms crossed over his chest, shadows dancing hungrily at his feet. The thin cut I gave him is visible through his torn tunic, a line of crimson against golden skin that makes my mouth water with the urge to taste it.
"Better than nursing your wounded pride," I retort, fighting the sudden, inexplicable need to trace that cut with my tongue. "How does it feel to bleed like the rest of us mortals?"
He pushes off the wall, moving closer with predatory grace that makes my pulse race. "Exhilarating, actually. It's been decades since anyone managed to mark me." His eyes gleam with dangerous hunger in the dim light. "I find I rather like wearing your signature,hatun. Perhaps you should give me more."
Something about the way he says that last word, the Shadow Court term for wife, sends molten heat coursing through my veins like liquid lightning. What is wrong with me? I blame Banu's cursed dust,whatever dark magic it contained. I shouldn't be noticing how his tunic clings to broad shoulders, or how his voice drops to a dangerous purr that makes my core clench with need.
"Don't get used to it," I manage, my voice breathier than intended. "Next time I'll aim for something more vital."
"Promises, promises." His smile is sharp enough to cut, but there's something else there, a hunger that mirrors the fire building in my blood. "Though I must admit, your skill with a blade was... unexpected. Where does a diplomat's daughter learn to fight like a trained fighter?"
I lift my chin, fighting the urge to arch into his presence like a cat in heat. "I told you—my father believed in a comprehensive education."
"Yes, and I'm beginning to think your education was very comprehensive indeed." He takes another step forward, forcing me back against the wall. The stone is cool against my heated skin, but it does nothing to quench the fire spreading through me. "What other talents are you hiding, I wonder?"
"You'll never find out."
"Oh, I will." He places one hand on the wall beside my head, leaning in until I can feel the heat radiating from his body, smell the intoxicating scent of cedar smoke and dark magic that makes my head spin. "I've always enjoyed solving puzzles, and you, Nesilhan of House Lumina, are the most intriguing puzzle I've encountered in centuries."
I should push him away. Should knee him in the groin and run. Instead, I find myself transfixed by the intensity of his gaze, by the way his shadows seem to reach for me with their own hunger.
"There's nothing to solve," I say, but my voice lacks conviction. The dust in my system makes every word feel like a lie.
He laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against my skin. "What I see is a woman wearing too many masks.The obedient daughter. The reluctant bride. The composed diplomat." His fingers brush my cheek with surprising gentleness that makes me shiver. "But I saw the truth in the training yard today, the warrior beneath the facade. The killer in those golden eyes who wants to taste blood."
His touch leaves a trail of fire across my skin that makes me gasp. The blood bond between us, usually carefully controlled by my mental barriers, suddenly flares as those barriers weaken under the influence of Banu's magic. I'm flooded with his desire, dark, consuming, obsessive—and it mingles with my own artificially heightened need until I can't tell where his hunger ends and mine begins.
"Stay out of my head," I warn, though I can feel my defenses crumbling like sand.
"I can only sense what you're feeling through our bond," he murmurs, his thumb tracing my lower lip with deliberate slowness. "Your emotions, your desires, your body's responses. And right now, you want me so badly it's like a flame I can taste." His hand moves to my throat, fingers wrapping lightly around it, thumb pressed against my racing pulse. "Even now, your heart is pounding. Is it fear, Nesilhan? Or something far more dangerous?"
