Page 44 of Crown of Light and Ashes
A ghost of a smile touches his lips. "A fanciful pastime."
"She believed imagination was as important as combat training." The words flow more easily now, carried on a tide of recollection. "She taught me to see possibilities where others saw only obstacles."
"She sounds unlike most Light Court nobles I've encountered."
I stop at my chamber doors, suddenly weary in truth rather than pretense. "She was... special. She had a way of finding light in the darkest places."
"And when did this idyllic childhood end?" Kaan asks, his voice uncharacteristically gentle.
The tenderness of the moment shatters as her death rushes back to me, her broken body, the distinctive shadow burns on her skin. Burns from magic like his.
"When Shadow Court soldiers murdered her," I say, ice crystallizing around each word. "When men like you decided her light needed to be extinguished."
His expression darkens. "Be careful, Nesilhan."
"You were there," I cut him off, rage building within me. "My father told me everything. You were part of the shadow squad that crossed our borders that night."
Something flashes in his eyes, surprise, confusion? "I've never crossed Light Court borders on raids. Your father is either lying or mistaken about my involvement." His voice is dangerously soft. "Have you considered that the man who raised you to be a weapon might not be telling you the whole truth?"
The accusation strikes hard, momentarily stealing my breath.
"Rest well,hatun," he adds, his tone deceptively light. "Hatred is exhausting when built on shaky foundations."
Without another word, he turns and leaves. I don’t linger but enter our room. I stay close to the door listening.
As soon as his footsteps fade, Banu materializes fully in the center of the room, her hair cycling through shades of silver and blue.
"Well, that was dramatic," she announces, crossing her arms. "Though I must say, that whole wistful childhood memory exchange was unexpectedly tender. Is the mighty assassin developing feelings for her monstrous husband?"
"The only feeling I'm developing is the urge to strangle a certain interfering fairy," I hiss, advancing on her. "What were you thinking, showing yourself like that? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"
Banu flutters her eyelashes innocently. "Me? Dangerous? I'm just a helpful friend checking on your well-being after you've been avoiding me."
"Avoiding you? I've been under constant surveillance! Kaan hasn't left my side!"
"Details, details." She waves a dismissive hand. "I needed to talk to you, and you weren't exactly making yourself available. Besides, you should be thanking me for my last intervention."
Heat rises to my cheeks at the memory of what her "intervention" led to. "Thanking you? You drugged me with faerie dust that made me…"
"Made you finally release all that delicious tension?" she interrupts, grinning wickedly. "Honestly, Nesi, you were wound tighter than a corseted virgin on her wedding night. You needed a good—"
"Don't say it," I warn.
"—fucking," she finishes smugly. "And from what I heard, and half the court heard, it was spectacular."
I lunge for her, but she darts just out of reach, laughing. "Oh, come on, don't be such a prude! You can't tell me you didn't enjoy it. The way you were screaming his name—"
"That wasn't me! That was your dust!"
She snorts inelegantly. "My dust doesn't create desires that aren't already there, sweet one. It just... lowers inhibitions. Removes barriers. Lets the true self emerge." She waggles her eyebrows suggestively. "And your true self apparently enjoys public displays of affection."
"I'm going to kill you," I growl, grabbing for her again. "Slowly. Painfully."
"Such gratitude!" She floats up toward the ceiling, just out ofreach. She laughs, the sound like silver bells. "I best go, and let you calm down. Try not to do anything stupid like falling in love with Shadow Boy before then."
"I'm not—"
Before I can finish my sentence, she vanishes completely, leaving only the faint scent of jasmine in her wake.
