Page 53 of Crown of Light and Ashes
"You know," she says with a theatrical sigh, eyeing his bare chest, "under different circumstances, I might enjoy being wrappedup in your shadows. They're surprisingly... intimate. Is this how you seduce all your enemies, or am I getting special treatment?"
Kaan's expression shifts from menace to momentary surprise before he regains his composure.
"No more potions," he declares, addressing Banu without releasing me. "No more barriers. I want full access to what's mine."
"She's not a possession," Banu protests, her voice firm despite the slight tremor that betrays her lingering fear. "And the bond isn't meant to be used as a tool for control."
"Isn't it?" Kaan challenges. "The blood bond exists precisely so married couples can't plot against each other. Can't deceive. Can't betray." His fingers tighten around my wrists. "It exists to enforce loyalty through transparency."
"It exists for intimacy," Banu whispers, a flicker of her normal courage returning despite her obvious unease. "For understanding. For connection deeper than physical. You're twisting its purpose."
I feel his hesitation through the bond, a flash of uncertainty quickly masked by renewed determination. "No more potions," he repeats. "Or your freedom in my court is revoked."
Panic rises in me at the thought of Kaan having unlimited access to my thoughts, my memories, my weaknesses. "Please," I whisper, hating the pleading note in my voice. "I need some privacy. Some autonomy."
Something flickers across his face—not quite compassion, but perhaps understanding. The bond between us resonates with complex emotions I can't fully decipher.
"What if," Banu suggests carefully, her voice trembling with the effort of sounding calm, "there was a compromise? A temporary barrier that only activates during certain hours? Privacy at night, connection during the day?"
Kaan's eyes narrow in consideration. "Explain."
"A modified potion," Banu elaborates, her words coming faster as hope offers her courage. Still, her body remains somewhat rigid, her wings not quite returned to their normal, relaxed position. "Less powerful than the full blocking formula. It would allow basic emotional awareness but prevent deep mental access. Like... like hearing music through a wall—you know it's playing, but can't make out the specific melody."
Hope flickers in my chest as I wait for his response, acutely aware of how much depends on his answer.
"And what do I get in return for this... generosity?" he finally asks, his gaze returning to my face.
"My cooperation," I offer, choosing my words carefully. "I won't fight against the bond when it's active. I'll... try to be more open during the day."
"Not enough," he dismisses. "I want more."
His shadows caress my skin through the thin fabric of my dress, reminding me of their touch in the corridor, of the shameful pleasure I'd found in being watched. The bond pulses with his awareness of these memories, with his satisfaction at my body's immediate response.
"Stop," I whisper, but without conviction.
"What more do you want?" Banu asks, her voice steadier now that Kaan's interest has shifted from her to me, though her posture remains cautious.
Kaan's eyes never leave mine as he answers. "Three truths," he says softly. "Freely given, without deception."
"What truths?" I ask warily.
"First, the complete truth about your training in the Light Court—who taught you, what skills you possess." His thumb traces small circles on the inside of my wrist, each movement sending sparks of unwanted awareness up my arm. "Second, what else do you hope to gain from this arrangement besides your brother's safety."
He pauses, his expression unreadable. "And third... the truth about why you saved my life from the assassin when letting me die would have solved all your problems."
The last request makes my breath catch. Of all the truths he could demand, he's chosen the one I'm least prepared to give—, because I don't understand it myself.
"Deal," I agree before I can reconsider.
"And in return," he continues, "I'll allow the modified potion and give you one truth. Whatever you want to know."
"That's not fair," I protest. "You get three truths, and I only get one?"
A slow smile spreads across his face, shadows dancing in his eyes. "You get a potion and your friend's life. I'd say that balances the scales quite nicely, wouldn't you?"
His gaze slides briefly to Banu, the threat clear despite his casual tone.
I consider my options carefully, weighing what knowledge would be most valuable. "I'll think about what truth I want to ask for," I reply, unwilling to show how much his offer intrigues me.
