Page 66 of Crown of Light and Ashes
"Why do you ask?" Kaan inquires, genuine curiosity in his tone. "Planning your escape already, after what we just shared?"
I turn away, unable to meet his eyes. "I just needed to know where I stand. What options remain to me."
"Options," he repeats, his voice turning cooler. "You speak as if this is a negotiation,hatun. It never was. From the moment you agreed to take your brother's place, your fate was sealed. As was mine."
That last part catches my attention. "What do you mean, 'as was mine?’"
He doesn't answer immediately; instead, he moves to retrieve a robe from a nearby chair, which he drapes around my shoulders. The unexpected gesture of consideration takes me by surprise.
"The blood bond affects us both," he says finally. "It binds me to you as surely as it binds you to me. Whatever fate awaits one, awaits the other." His shadows coil more tightly around him. "So you see, your desire to break the bond is rather... concerning from my perspective."
I pull the robe tighter around me, suddenly cold despite the fire still burning in the hearth. "I needed to know."
"And now you do," he replies simply. "We are bound, Nesilhan. For better or worse. In pleasure or pain. In life and even after."
The implications of his words settle heavily upon me. My mission to kill him would inevitably result in my own destruction. Did my father know this when he sent me here? Was my death an acceptable sacrifice for Kaan's elimination?
As I move toward the door, navigating around fallen books and shattered ornaments, his voice stops me.
"Nesilhan."
I turn, surprised by his use of my actual name rather than the possessive "hatun" he usually favors.
"The room has seen better days," he observes, glancing at the destruction around us. "Perhaps you should stay the night. To help with... cleanup."
The invitation is transparent, his intentions clear in the heat that still lingers in his gaze. I should refuse, should retreat to my own chambers to think, to process everything that's happened.
Instead, I find myself nodding, taking a step back toward him rather than away.
"I suppose that would be the responsible thing to do," I agree, a smile tugging at my lips despite my best efforts to suppress it.
His answering smile is predatory, shadows already reaching for me with renewed purpose.
"Responsible," he echoes, pulling me back into his arms. "Not a word often used to describe me. But for you,hatun, I'm willing to make an exception."
As his lips claim mine once more, I surrender to the knowledge that whatever line we've crossed tonight, there's no going back. For better or worse, everything has indeed changed.
Chapter Nineteen
The Unwelcome Guest
Kaan
MY FINGERTIPS DRUM an impatient rhythm against the obsidian armrest as court petitioners drone on about border disputes. My mind wanders to far more interesting territory—specifically, the territory I thoroughly claimed last night.
Nesilhan. Blindfolded. Begging.
I shift in my throne, shadows coiling restlessly around my feet as the memory replays in vivid detail. The way she finally admits she wants me. The way her body responds to my touch, my possession. Even now, the satisfaction of it makes these tedious proceedings seem almost bearable—though not quite interesting enough to hold my full attention.
And then there was thatname. Isil.
A wound that never heals. The slip is momentary but dangerous—revealing a vulnerability I spent centuries burying. That I let it escape during such an intimate moment with Nesilhan is... concerning.
"My lord?" Emir's voice cuts through my thoughts, maintaining his formal tone despite our long friendship. "Your attention seems elsewhere."
I fix him with a withering glare. "I'm listening intently to this fascinating dispute about whose sheep wandered into whose cabbage patch. The subtle nuances of agricultural territorial disputes are endlessly riveting."
Emir's mouth twitches almost imperceptibly. "The farmer is requesting compensation for crops destroyed by shadow beasts, not sheep."
