Page 6 of Crown of Light and Ashes
"Would you prefer I collapse into hysterics?" I ask coolly. "Would that solve anything?"
In my head, I recite the opening verses of "The Light Bearer's Lament," an ancient poem my mother taught me.When darkness threatens to consume, remember that shadow cannot exist without light...
The familiar words help me maintain my composure when I want to scream.
"Nesilhan," my father says, stepping forward. "We need to talk. Privately."
I arch an eyebrow. "I believe we're already private, unless Shadow Court spies lurk in the walls."
"They might," my father says grimly. He makes a subtle gesturewith his hand—a small flare of light magic that briefly illuminates the room before settling into a faint shimmer around us—a privacy ward, simple but effective against eavesdropping.
"Now we can speak freely," he says.
I cross my arms. "What is there to say? You've sold me to the Shadow Court to save Zoran. A father's love, I suppose, though clearly not for both his children equally."
Zoran winces. My father's expression remains impassive.
"Is that what you think?" he asks. "That I've sacrificed you?"
"What would you call it?" I snap, my calm facade cracking. "I'm to marry a man who calls himself the monster of the Shadow Court, who threatened to execute my brother in front of me, who looked at me like—" I cut myself off, unwilling to voice how Kaan had looked at me, like a predator sizing up prey. "Tell me, Father, what would you call it if not a sacrifice?"
"I would call it the culmination of your training," he says quietly.
I freeze. "What?"
"Did you really think I didn't know?" My father moves to the window, looking out at the twilight of the Shadow Court. "About the Order of the Silent Blade? About your missions? The assassination in Blackvale last summer? The informant you cultivated in the Eastern Provinces?"
Each word has my mind reeling. Not that he knows I'm an assassin—I always suspected the Court had eyes everywhere—but that he orchestrated it all. My carefully constructed belief that I had chosen this path myself, that my secret life was truly my own, crumbles around me.
"How long have you known?" I manage to ask.
"Since the beginning," he replies, turning back to face me. "I was the one who recommended you to the Order."
The room seems to tilt beneath my feet. I sink onto a nearby chair,struggling to reconcile this revelation with everything I've believed about my life. Fifteen years—half my lifetime—spent in training and service to the Order. Eight assassinations personally carried out, countless intelligence operations conducted. All while maintaining the perfect facade of the diplomat's obedient daughter.
"You... what?" Zoran looks between us, confusion written across his face. "Nesilhan is an assassin? Father, what are you talking about?"
My father sighs. "Your sister has been training with an elite group of Light Court assassins since she was a child. Preparing for missions that require... particular skills."
"But she's a diplomatic attaché," Zoran protests. "She attends peace negotiations, assists with treaties—"
"The perfect cover," I say quietly, still processing my father's revelation. "No one suspects the polite, well-mannered daughter of Councillor Taren."
Zoran stares at me like he's never seen me before. Perhaps he hasn't—not really.
"Why would you keep this from me?" he asks, hurt evident in his voice.
"For your protection," I reply automatically, the answer I've been conditioned to give. "The fewer people who know, the safer everyone is."
"Then why tell me now?" His golden eyes, so like my own, search my face.
My father answers for me. "Because this arrangement with Lord Kaan isn't just about saving your life, Zoran. It's about something we've been planning for years."
A cold realization dawns on me. "You wanted this," I say slowly. "You wanted me to marry him."
"Not precisely," my father corrects. "But we've long sought a way to place someone close to Kaan. He's too careful, too well-guarded forconventional assassination attempts. His shadows sense approaching threats, and his personal guards are fanatically loyal."
"So I'm to be the knife that gets past his defenses," I say, a bitter laugh escaping me. "How convenient that Zoran provided the perfect opportunity."
