Page 96 of Crown of Light and Ashes
My cycle has always been regular—a necessity for an assassin who cannot afford to be caught off guard by anything, even her own body. And yet, I missed my monthly bleeding. Once could be attributed to stress. Twice is... another matter entirely.
I'm so lost in my thoughts that I do not notice Banu's return until she materializes directly in front of me, an annoyed expression on her face.
"Well?" I ask, curious regardless. "What were they discussing?"
Banu rolls her eyes dramatically. "Boy chat, mostly. Very dull. But I think Shadow Boy sensed me there—his shadows did this weird twitchy thing and started reaching in my direction." She shudders. "I had to leave before he caught me. He's getting better at detecting my presence, which is both impressive and inconvenient."
Through my nausea, I find myself laughing. "Boy chat? What does that even mean?"
"Oh, you know," Banu waves her hand dismissively, "Council politics, border patrols, whether their swords are bigger than the Light Court generals'. The usual testosterone-fueled nonsense." She grins wickedly. "Though I must say, Emir's sword does look rather substantial."
"Banu!" I exclaim, my laughter growing in spite of myself.
"What? I'm making observations. For purely academic purposes, of course."
Her ridiculous commentary keeps me distracted until another spell of nausea hits unexpectedly. My laughter cuts off abruptly as I press a hand to my mouth, bile rising in my throat.
"Nesi?" Banu's amusement transforms to worry instantly. "Are you going to be sick again?"
I nod, unable to speak as I try desperately to control the rising nausea. Banu takes my arm without hesitation, guiding me back toward the palace as quickly as my unsteady legs will carry me.
We barely make it to my chambers before I'm retching again, this time bringing up nothing but bitter bile. Banu hovers anxiously nearby, her wings fluttering with obvious concern.
"That's it," she announces when I finally slump back, exhausted. "This isn't normal, Nesi, and we both know it."
I close my eyes, too tired to argue. "It's just stress. The prophecy, Aslan, everything with Kaan..."
"And the missed cycles?" she challenges, her voice surprisingly gentle. "The fatigue? The way certain smells have been making you gag for weeks now?"
I open my eyes to find her watching me with uncharacteristic seriousness. "Nesi," she says softly, "is there any chance you might be pregnant?"
The question hits me like a physical blow, giving voice to the fear—and hope—I've been too afraid to acknowledge even to myself. "I... I've wondered," I admit, my hand instinctively moving to my abdomen. "My symptoms..."
"I need to test you," Banu says decisively.
"Test me? How?"
"Fairy magic," she says simply. "It's quite accurate for detecting new life. But we need to do it properly."
She instructs me to lie back on the bed, her usual theatrics replaced by a quiet efficiency that speaks to the gravity of the moment. With uncharacteristic focus, she begins to summon her magic, silver-blue light gathering in her palms, forming intricate patterns that pulse with ancient power.
"This won't hurt," she assures me, placing her glowing hands just above my abdomen. "Just breathe normally."
The light spreads from her hands, seeping through my gown to envelop my midsection in a soft glow. For a moment, nothing happens. Then, gradually, the color of the light begins to change—from silver-blue to a warm, pulsing gold.
Banu's breath catches. "Oh, Nesi..."
"What?" I whisper, afraid to break the spell. "What does it mean?"
"Gold means yes," she says softly. "You're pregnant. It’s very early, but you’re pregnant."
The word hangs in the air between us, impossible and undeniable. Pregnant. With child. A life growing inside me—half shadow, half light. The prophecy incarnate.
I can't breathe. Can't think. Can't process the enormity of what this means.
"Are you certain?" I manage finally, my voice barely audible.
Banu nods, her eyes never leaving mine. "Fairy magic doesn't lie about new life. Not about this."
