Page 17 of Sinner
“Nix.”
“I don’t need you to apologize,” he stopped him. “Not now. Not when it’s already too late.”
“Ouch.”
It was the truth, even if it stung. They were already on this path, and neither of them was getting off it. Fortunately, Nix didn’t think either of them really wanted to. Sure, Yejun felt bad for what he’d done, and Nix was still not as comfortable around him as he’d once been, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t still affection there.
“I like you,” he found himself confessing, voice low and even. “I like all of you. I don’t care what people think of me, or if that will cause them to gossip about us in some social circles. I never have.”
Nix had always had a one-track mind, that was why he’d been holed up in his room studying while Branwen and the rest of the kids his age had been busy making friends.
“I am curious though,” he couldn’t help but say. “Are you three into each other?”
“No.” Yejun paused as soon as he said it, rethinking. “Actually, not really? We’re not sexually attracted to one another, and we’ve never considered dating or being together. But we don’t turn each other off. You know that. You’ve seen firsthand that we can all get hard together.” He tipped his head. “Why? Do you want us to fuck each other? Are you trying to trick us into giving you a break in the bedroom?”
Nix shook his head. “I just wanted to know, because you’re right, you didn’t have any problem sucking Lake off, and he didn’t hesitate to come down your throat.”
Yejun grimaced. “You don’t have to be so graphic about it.”
“Does it bother you after the fact?”
“I don’t like Lake or West. Although this is funny. It reminds me of a conversation I had with Beck once.”
Nix frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I guess he used to think I had a thing for West,” Yejun explained. “After Lake left for Vitality, it was just the two of us. Obviously, we grew closer. I suppose that was misinterpreted by some, including our favorite professor. He finally caved and asked me about it over drinks one night, and I set him straight.”
Nix considered the way they’d always spoken about each other. “You guys really do regard one another like siblings, don’t you?”
“I mean…Siblings don’t give each other head, Firebird. But it’s a similar closeness. We’re family, no matter what that means or what we do in that context. If you ask me to go get West right now and let him fuck me over the kitchen table, for example, I would do it without hesitation.”
“Because you want to be fucked by West?”
“Because I want to please you,” he corrected sincerely. “We all do. This is the way we were raised. Sex equals power in Club Essential. Giving you the reins, allowing you to pick and choose how we get off and who with…there’s no stronger power than that, Nix. There’s no greater way for us to prove our devotion to you.”
“I…don’t know what to say to that.”It wasn’t like it was a completely foreign concept to him, Nix had grown up on this planet, same as them, after all. But still. Did he want to control them that way? To force them to prove they wanted him by making them sleep with each other?
“Don’t say anything. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to from here on out. Lake messaged just before you came down that the High Council meeting went well. He’ll be officially announced soon, and then no one will ever be able to tell you what to do again. No one will be able to hurt you again.”
“Except for you.” Nix should look away, it was a low blow, after all, but he held Yejun’s gaze firmly instead, refusing to backdown. This was too important to cower from. They were too important.
“I’m sorry, Nix.”
“I didn't say it to make you apologize; I did it so you wouldn’t forget. You could take Lake’s cock down your throat and West’s up your ass dozens of times, and it will never be enough to fully erase what you put me through that day. I need to know you get that.”
“I’ll feel sorry for the rest of my life,” he said. “There’s no need to remind me.”
“Okay.” That was good enough for him. After everything, it sort of had to be. “I’m so tired.”
“Go back to bed.”
“No,” he shook Yejun’s hand off when he meant to help him back inside, “I don’t mean physically. Mentally. I’m just…so tired.” He rubbed at his temple, then opted to change the subject. “Why you?”
Yejun pursed his lips, confused.
“Why are you the one getting fucked and not the one doing the fucking?”
“West doesn’t bottom for anyone.”
