Page 32 of Sinner
“I don’t see why not. You said to act like everything was normal. What’s more normal than a man fucking his betrothed on the day his titling ceremony is announced?”
“Don’t say it like that.” The word betrothed didn’t sit right with Nix for some reason. Made him feel…awkward.
“Are you excited?”
Nix scoffed and jutted his chin down toward the apex of his thighs. “Obviously.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Lake leaned in, tongue darting out to trace the curve of Nix’s right jawline teasingly. “Are you looking forward to Demons Passing? This is the first you’ll experience here. Club Essential does it better than anywhere else on the planet, I assure you.”
To be honest, Nix hadn’t really thought much about the holiday, what with everything else going on. Having the firstday's celebration—and only that one day—called off due to Juri’s death had also helped put a damper on his festive spirits. But now that Lake was talking about it in that wicked tone of his…
“Do they?” Nix’s hand wandered down, palming Lake through his pants, but he kept his voice even, letting on he was actually curious about the topic. “I don’t know much about it.”
“How did you celebrate on your old campus?” Lake shifted on his feet, grinding his bulge against Nix’s palm, but he didn’t do anything else, merely set his arms up at either side of Nix’s head, caging him as they talked. “Did you participate in the Haunt?”
“Once,” he admitted, even though he knew the other guy was hoping he’d say no. “It…wasn’t anything special. Definitely not what I’d pictured when my roommate convinced me to go with him.”
“Oh?”
He snorted. “I didn’t end up fucking anyone, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“We’ll make up for it,” Lake promised, and Nix laughed.
“Sure, you could say that. Three dicks are better than one, is that it?”
“I think it’ll take more than that to make up for a lifetime of missing out on the festivities,” Lake drawled, then seemed to realize the underlying connotation and froze. “That was me promising to fuck you more than once, to be clear. Don’t get any bright ideas, Songbird. No one else is allowed to be brought into what we have.”
“Just the guys you’ve chosen?” Nix nipped at Lake’s chin when his comment got the reaction he hoped for and the soon-to-be-emperor glowered. “Relax. I was joking. Fortunately for both of us, I’m rather fond of West and Yejun, too.”
“Have you forgiven him then?”
Nix glanced away, some of the fire in his lower region dying out at the question. Did he forgive him? Yeah. Had they made up, for all intents and purposes? Obviously. But that didn’t undo the past.
Forgiving someone didn’t automatically heal the wounds that person had left behind.
“I’ve never been this open with anyone,” Nix began tentatively. “I’ve never allowed myself to become exposed. It’s not that I don’t want things to be better, I do. I want to erase the way he made me feel when he was pinning me down on the coffee table and tearing through me. When my lungs burned from lack of oxygen. The problem is, he meant it. If you weren’t there, he would have killed me. He knows it, and I know it too.”
How did you ever convince yourself to fully trust someone like that again?
How did you break through the fear and the doubt?
“Yejun would never hurt me,” Nix tested the words on his tongue, found that while he believed it, it only mostly made it better, “but that isn’t good enough. It’s all he can give me. But it isn’t enough.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re getting better at that.” Nix pressed his lips to Lake’s in a quick kiss that was over faster than either of them wanted. He could read between the lines and knew what Lake was really getting at. Yejun was the only one who’d yet to add his claiming mark. But he wasn’t ready. He wanted to be. But he wasn’t. “I can’t think about the coronationandDemons Passing. One thing at a time, yeah?”
They were both major steps in their relationship, massive ones, in fact.
“Demons Passing will be held on the entire campus,” Lake said. “It’ll be open to everyone, with no place off limits. Unlike other parties or events, no one ever misses it.”
“I know how public it’s going to be.” He searched his gaze. “I know that’s why you’re so invested in dressing me up and making me look the part.”
“Our classmates already know I bit and claimed you.”
Nix snorted. “This morning, I was officially named Royal Consort. This will be my first outing as more than the guy you bit and claimedfor now. Seeing me out there at a public event, with the three of you? That will make it a reality. Don’t pretend that’s not exactly what you’re hoping for.”
“I’m counting on it,” he finally admitted, leaning in to brush the tip of his nose up the curve of Nix’s neck, breathing him in. “I want word to spread that witnesses were watching me hunt you down at the party.”
