Page 42 of Quarantined
I can’t even tell Reid. He might have given me his blessing to be close with Milo again but I doubt he meantthatclose. He is going to bepissed.Thou shalt not covet your BFF's brother.
Not to mention the most taboo reason of all. The law recognizes that man as my legal parent.
This is sick.
Maybe we were both overwhelmed by our emotions when we saw each other. I was sad about our distance and how I treated him. He was angry about the way I left. Emotions were running high, and it exploded in epic proportions. It was a mistake—a misunderstanding. Even Milo is allowed to make one mistake.
Yes. Milo made a mistake. As did I. But we will fix it. We have to.
Milo will know how to proceed. He always does. I can always count on Milo to pick up the pieces. For now, I have to compartmentalize what happened. If I don’t, my brain will fry from over-analysis.
I need to get out of this house and find my bearings. I shoot a quick text to Janeen, one of my good friends from school, to see if she wants to catch up.
It’s about eight am. She is the only teenager I know who will be up at this hour during summer vacation. She usually has swim meets very early in the morning.
Janeen texts me back, agreeing to grab breakfast. I sigh a small relief as I sprint out of the house, needing as much space as possible from my residence.
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Milo
I wake up to an empty bed. The high I felt last night dissipates. Raven is gone. She freaked out about last night. I can feel it. Last time we kissed, she admitted that she loved me and then fled the country before we could even talk.
What if she runs again?
Anxiety paralyzes me at that thought. I can’t go through what I went through this summer. I never want to experience that again. I have to find her and calm her down. My mind is reeling about how to move forward.
I know what we mean to each other. No other woman has ever looked at me the way she looks at me. And she is the only person for me. She can see through me, through my very soul.
Yet, for so long, we both put a pin on our feelings.
I am older. I am the one who is supposed to hold back. Yet, I initiated it last night. I should have exercised more self-control.
It’s a constant battle, my obsession versus what's right. After last night my obsession is winning. She was responsive as well, which doesn't help. I don’t know how much more I can hold back.
Maybe we can talk this out.
I knock on the bathroom door, hoping to talk to Raven. No response. Heading downstairs, I look around for her and call her name. Again, no response.
You have got to be kidding me. Raven has flown the nest. Again. Grabbing my phone, I fire up a text.
Where are you?
Grabbing breakfast with Janeen.
What is with that girl? Is she always going to run away every time she doesn’t want to deal with something or feels awkward? I wait for her to come home.
Hours go by. Hours of waiting for her. Hours of absolute torture. Hours of giving her space. I can’t take it anymore. Is this how she felt for years; when she pined for me and I had to ignore her feelings?
I wanted her. I just couldn’t act on it. I still shouldn’t. But now that the barrier between us is broken, I don’t know how to go back. I should feel like a piece of shit, but my desire is pushing my honor code right out of the door.
All these thoughts keep me jolted as I try to busy myself for the rest of the day. By eight pm, I am beyond frustrated with her.
Fuck that; I am pissed. I am so pissed; I am shaking. After a summer of running away and avoiding me, she is doing the exact same shit again. I didn’t expect this from Raven. I never considered our age difference as being one of our many barriers. I considered all the other factors. But never this.
Raven is notorious for being too mature and wise beyond her age. She is always playing the diplomat in our household, placating tense situations. Even my friends seek her out for advice.
But recently, her inexperience in life is starting to show. This is not how you handle things. You can’t avoid and run away every time you don't want to deal with a situation.
