Page 76 of Quarantined
Milo eyes me but says nothing more. Turning his back to me, he starts to walk out.
"Milo, please don't be angry. Don't leave like this." I desperately follow him, trying to make him understand.
He opens the door before I can reach him.
"Milo!" I scream as panic settles in. He is leaving me!
Milo doesn't respond, as he slams the door behind him, leaving me in a pool of tears.
CHAPTER 8
November 2nd, 2015
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Raven
The last few weeks have been the worst of my life. I’ve signed up for more study sessions than ever before, trying to keep busy. Wellington is one of those pretentious prep schools, allowing students to “grow” at their own pace. This means we are allowed to get ahead of the syllabus if we so choose. As long as we complete all of our projects, assignments, and exams, we can be done with our school year earlier than scheduled. I am done with all of my electives and cores. I can do a remote internship in Paris next semester and still graduate with Reid. The thought is tempting.
I am starting to feel out of my mind in New York City. And in this house. Everything reminds me of Milo. I need to get away for my own sanity.
It’s been a couple of weeks since our big blow out. Milo walked out on me after I begged him not to leave me. He has not returned since then. I never thought he would leave me like that.
After he left, Milo started a text thread with all of us, giving us some bullshit excuse of having to stay on campus for the next few weeks because of his "grueling" school schedule and the app. Then he called the nanny to extend her stay.
Now I understand why Mia hates nannies. As long as the nanny is here, Milo is not coming back. I am starting to loathe the poor woman even though she has done nothing wrong.
Milo gave the nanny specific instructions for things that need to be done around the house. He also makes her check up on Reid, making sure he is home by dinner time on weekdays, finishing his chores, and his schoolwork. Milo has managed to keep an eagle eye on his siblings, even from afar.
I assumed Milo would have to return home sooner than later, before Mia threw the biggest shitstorm on earth. So imagine my surprise when I found out that Uncle Reese and Tessa are coming back from Cayman Islands.
Milo called Uncle Reese and told him that he was too overwhelmed with school and the new business. Milo has never asked Uncle Reese for help before. Being the good father that he is, Uncle Reese didn’t interrogate Milo. He took a leave of absence and took the first flight home. They will be here for at least a month.
Which really means, Milo is not coming back. At least, not anytime soon.
Apparently, he stops by Mia’s school on select days, to walk her home or take her out for a milkshake. She also gets daily phone calls from him. So does Reid.
I do not.
No calls. No texts. No responses to my calls or texts.
The first week after he left, my heart gave out when the phone rang, a text alert went off, or I heard the door. I kept hoping that he was back. Hell, I was even ready to sit through another one of his useless lectures about drinking and safety.
Nothing!
Just like the hollowness inside of me. I can’t take the radio silence from him anymore.
Why is it so unforgivable that I wanted to end things between us? Given our relation to one another, Milo must've known there was an expiration date to our illicit sexual relationship.
Still, I have messaged him so many times, begging him for forgiveness. He never messages me back, unless it's related to his responsibilities as my guardian or something about the household. His messages are curt and to the point. He is clearly available but doesn't want to deal with me.
I understand that he is hurt. But I am having a hard time believing that Milo loves me. If Milo wanted more from me, other than sex, he had plenty of opportunities to voice it. He never indicated otherwise. The moment I wanted to end things, he magically decides that he loves me?
He probably thinks I will have sex with him again, if he says he loves me. This is about his big fucking ego. He can't comprehend that beautiful women throw themselves at him, and little old me doesn't want to have sex with him anymore. His pride is the reason he can’t look past himself, and think about me.
All this time, I thought he’d never leave me. He is yet another disappointment, just like my parents. If he couldn’t get what he wanted out of me, I ceased to exist.
This is so unfair. It was not my call to start this sexual relationship. Milo initiated it, so why do I have to lose one of my best friends? I hate feeling this way. I have been wallowing for weeks now. How much more of this shit can I humanely take?
