Page 77 of Quarantined
I want to be angry at him but I can't. I can't hate him. No matter what, I could never hate Milo.
Three Weeks Later
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Raven
I hate Milo. There, I said it. I never thought I’d even think those words. But I do. I hate him.
It's been more than a month since Milo walked out on me. I still had hope that we could fix this. Now that hope has been replaced with anger. So much anger.
A few weeks ago, Milo picked up Reid and Mia after school to take them out for a “siblings dinner”. I was conveniently left off the guest list. He selected a day when he knew I had dance class.
The same thing happened again. And then again.
As to not cause suspicion, Milo started texting all three of us on our group thread, suggesting hang sessions on the days he knows I have dance classes, study sessions, or other commitments. I have no choice but to say no.
Soon, Uncle Reese started joining these “family dinners”, since this is the first time he is not actively working. So the whole family, minus Tessa, now regularly get together. And it's deemed that I am too busy to attend, due to my own overloaded schedule. Not only is he ignoring me, but he is also making me feel left out of my own family. He is taking them away from me.
How much longer can he pull this shit?
Doesn't he care about me even a little?
Of course he doesn’t. He wanted me for my body. And when I refused him, he had no more use for me. And now he is getting back at me for hurting his pride.
He is no better than my parents.
Yet, here I am, decorating the house for Milo. I am blowing up balloons and working on decorations for Milo’s surprise party, for his twenty-first birthday tomorrow.
I am making the same mistakes over and over again. I am still giving away too much of myself. And it's worse with Milo. My parents were neglectful. They broke my heart but didn’t take anything from me. Not really. But with Milo, I gave him everything he wanted. And the minute I put my own needs before his, he left me. Just like they did.
That first week Milo left, I would have taken any chance to be around him. Make him see reason. Apologize again and again. But based on how he has treated me in the last few weeks, I don't want to be around him.
The last thing I want to do is attend his stupid birthday dinner or the silly party afterward. Except, I don’t have a choice. As angry as I am, I can’t let Reid or Mia know why I don’t want to attend the party; the party I have been personally planning since last year.
So here I sit, alone on a Friday night, setting up the house and putting up birthday decorations. I am giving myself away for yet another man who broke me.
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Milo
I chug my remaining beer and wait for the buzz. It doesn't come. This must be my fifth beer tonight, and my judgment is stillnotimpaired. Asher should ask for a refund from the liquor store. If I can’t get tipsy at this party, this is going to be even more insufferable than I imagined.
Reid and Raven organized my twenty-first birthday party and put Asher in charge of liquor, since they needed someone over twenty-one to purchase it. Asher obviously failed at his job, since this shitty defective alcohol doesn’t even get me buzzed.
The whole family, including my mom (shockingly), took me out for a birthday dinner earlier in the night. They have been planning this “surprise” party for months, scheduling an intricate family dinner beforehand to get me out of the house. Afterwards, my parents made arrangements to take Mia with them, to stay overnight at the Plaza. They decided to give us the whole house, so it could be a proper rager.
I knew about this party, even before they brought me back here for the big reveal. It was all very obvious. I should be thrilled, but I am not. I haven't been thrilled in quite a while.
Last month, I went out of town for a few days. I would have never left had I known how drastically things would change.
I was already out of my mind, missing Raven like crazy when I got back into town. Raven was just starting to come around, being more open with me, even initiating sex a few times. I thought we were finally on the same page until she pulled the rug right out from under me.
Raven told me she wasn’t interested in me; sleeping together was a huge misunderstanding. I was about to lose my mind.
That girl pursued me for years. Coming to my room, curling up in my bed, constantly calling and texting me. For God’s sake, who gives up their virginity in a miscommunication? None of it made any sense. As if to twist the knife, Raven said she didn't mean it when she said she loved me.
She decided it was over, without so much as a discussion. I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I walked away. Raven always needs time to process. It was my turn. I had to cool off before I did something I regretted.
