Page 105 of Isolation
If those words got out, it would tear apart Uncle Reese and Dad's lifelong brotherhood bond. My parents would never speak to any of the other Sinclairs and insist that I do the same.
My dad is a man who lost his mind because his wife left him. Calling him emotional is putting it mildly.
Dad might have neglected me throughout my childhood, but he wouldn't be able to deal with someone from this family defiling his only daughter.
My parents are living here based on Milo's financial assistance. My father would rather be on the street than accept Milo's money or continue living here if he found out what Milo did.
He would also ensure that Milo ends up in jail. All of our lives and families would be left in shambles, completely devastated.
“You don't owe Milo anything,” Mia sighs. “If you want to come forward, I’ll be there for you. I’ll support you.”
I need to get out of this conversation. I can't acknowledge what Mia is trying to get me to admit. It’s not going to lead to any acceptable solution.
“Mia,” I warn her in a stern voice. “You have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Just because he signed some papers to be your guardian, doesn't give him the right—”
“I don't know what you think you know, but—”
“You don't have to protect him.”
“I am not protecting anyone,” I snap.
It's the truth. I am not protecting Milo. I have already had my opportunity for retribution, and I made a different decision for myself.
My road to recovery has always been redemption, never about revenge.
Plus, the truth of the matter is, this situation is so much more complicated than I could ever articulate.
Consent, non-consent, force, coercion, sex, comfort…all of those lines have blurred together at some point with Milo.
I can't ruin our lives over blurred lines. Which is why I always wanted to take this deep-seated secret to my grave so no one would know of our horrible, tumultuous affair and our toxic physical relationship.
“No man should ever get away with that,” Mia tries again in a choked voice. “Milo was the one who taught us that, remember?”
“Please stop talking,” I hold up my hand and raise my voice. Mia clearly knows enough to destroy our lives. I have to do damage control and convince her what she knows is a complete farce. “You sound ridiculous and confused. How can you think so little of your own brother?”
“I'm not confused. I suspected something was wrong, and then I overheard you guys. I know what I heard!”
“You heard wrong,” I say with a fake sternness that I don't feel.
“I did not. You are in denial, which would be fine if the situation wasn't unsafe for you.”
“Why would the situation be unsafe for me?”
“Because Raven, Milo rape—”
“STOP!” I shriek at the top of my lungs, the pitch of my voice making her jump.
I didn't mean to scare her. I just had to drown out her voice. I'd never be able to survive if Mia finishes that sentence.
Mia is the one mirror I can never hide from. And that mirror is standing tall, reflecting back all of the agony rolling around inside of me.
She doesn't shy away from my stern gaze but levels me with a look of her own. It's not anger. It's not accusal. It's empathy and kindness because she knows I'm so fucked in the head that I've refused to acknowledge it.
I have never even said that word out loud or to myself. I hate that word. It makes me feel worthless.
Weak.
