Page 143 of Isolation
When I get sick, Raven never leaves my side.
When I gave up smoking, she stayed glued to my side to make sure that I didn't “fall off the wagon.”
When I am falling apart, Raven just knows without me ever having to tell her.
It's like we are one person.
No one will ever understand our bond.
To have that kind of love, to attain the warmth that resonates from her, it means everything to me.
However, Raven can love with all of her heart, but she won't let you mistreat her. She will hold her ground and her pride till her dying breathe.
There is just something so sexy about having to earn the love and respect of a proud, stubborn woman.
It makes you feel like a deserving man.
Those are all the reasons why I want her.
But that’s not why Asher wants her. He wants her because he knows he can never have her.
“Hey, I will be right back,” Asher says.
“Sure,” I nod.
I know what he is up to. He is going to go over there to hit on Raven.
It used to bother me. I used to want him dead every time he looked at Raven.
Not anymore.
I would be angry if it wasn’t so sad to watch. Too sad. Like the Titanic going down.
I want to tell him to move on, but I have no leg to stand to provide that kind of advice. If anyone needs a lesson on how to move on from Raven Beckett, it’s me.
It’s only been, what, seventeen years? I haven’t moved on. Not even a smidge. If there was a switch to turn it all off, I would have definitely used it by now.
But as much as I love her, I have stopped pursuing her. Ever since Paris.
Raven was finally interested in dating but she chose someone else to date. After she broke things off withMichelle,I thought we could talk.
Instead, she left my ass in Paris via text and abruptly took a flight back to New York.
We have always had a codependent relationship. Others found it abnormal, but it never bothered us. For us, it’s the most natural thing because that’s all we have known.
We check each other’s emails. We know each other’s passwords for everything.
The only thing we have never discussed are sexual conquests. We are both private in that regard.
I know of my reasons, but I am not sure of hers.
Ever since my return from Paris, I put some distance between us. I am not sure if she even noticed.
For example, I don’t go to her room and hang out there as much. I go out with my boys while Raven often stays home. She has also seemed pre-occupied ever since we returned from Paris.
It's a good thing.
I can be in love with her till my dying breath, which I probably will be, but there is no point in pursuing her.
