Page 164 of Isolation
Raven blasts to her feet. “See, that’s the problem," she says quietly. "People assume I am somature. The truth is, I have always been slow to react. I need time to analyze things at my own speed. That’s the reason why I don’t lash out. People take that as me being wise beyond my age. I am not. I am indecisive. I am overly analytical. It’s not the best thing to hear but those are my flaws. Every human being is allowed to have them."
Raven stops her rant to take a deep breath. “I have no right to ask, but can you ever forgive me for this?”
“I have known for years. We are still standing, aren’t we?”
Raven jumps into my arms. We don’t need any more words. We just need each other. We always have.
I hold her as close as I can. I am holding her so tightly that I am probably squeezing the life out of her.
“Reid,” Raven snaps me out of my lull.
“Hmmm?”
“There is something else I have to tell you."
"What?"
"I am not working for Mom anymore.”
“You are not?”
“Mom’s business is suffering. We talked about it. She is going to shut down her business, and I decided to pursue my own career, separate from hers. I got an internship with Karen. It’s unpaid but working for Karen will be good for my resume. I am moving back to New York.”
Hope.
All the hope that I had ever buried when it comes to Raven is reigniting like flames in a forest fire. It’s spreading all throughout me.
Even as I tell myself to halt, all I feel is hope.
I have to slow my mind down. I just realized half an hour ago that I still love her. We just talked about the biggest hurdle in our lives. I can’t get ahead of myself.
I have to pump the brakes on my racing mind.
Yet, I can’t stop.
Raven will be in the same city as me.
Proximity.
Proximity means possibility.
In the back of my mind, one of my doubts is immediately appeased. If we are in the same city again, then there is a possibility.
I still don’t know how she feels about me. Since we have reignited our friendship, something is different between us. Something has changed in our dynamic. I can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s just a feeling. A vibe. Our friendship feels… intimate.
Could she, after all these years, possibly want more?
Even if she does, my biggest hindrance is still at large. Could I get over what happened between Raven and Milo? Could I ever get over it enough so I could be the man she deserves?
Or would I just resent her? I couldn’t deal with myself if I hurt her because I couldn’t get past it. Until I know for sure, I can’t choose anything different for us.
So I don’t say anything else. I kiss the top of her head and keep her locked in my arms.
CHAPTER 7
Few Days Ago
March 8th, 2020
