Page 77 of Isolation
It wasn’t hyperbole when I told her that she ruined me for other women.
I tried, but I couldn’t force an attraction that I didn’t feel, for a fuck that I didn’t want.
This means that most of my frustrations had to be taken out at the gym, in between my grueling work schedule.
I am aware of the female attention I receive, but there is only one female whose attention I’m interested in. From the looks of it, I don’t think she hates it.
“Take off the shirt, baby,” I breathe.
I am sitting a few feet away from the bed, leaning against the base of the table in hopes that the distance makes her feel safe, and her shaking will stop.
This is a crucial moment for us, to show her how things can be different. To show her that she is in control too.
Raven lifts the shirt above her head. It takes everything in my power to keep my stoic look in place. “The bra too,” my voice is barely above a whisper now.
Raven complies once more and without argument. I dig my palm into the floor to force myself to stay put as her perfect full tits spill out.
“Fuck,” I hear my own pained voice. I stare, enchanted by that sight.
She still looks like fucking Snow White, with her long lashes fanning her cheeks and her parted red lips. She is that fantasy that’s finally in the reach of my fingertips. I take in harsh breaths to control myself from pouncing on her.
Raven also looks mystified by the connection we share. My breathing is erratic, but I refuse to lose control of this situation. “Lean back. Open your legs wide.”
Raven doesn’t break our eye contact. Good girl. She leans back slightly and opens up. My mouth goes dry when I take in her naked, vulnerable body.
“Show me how you touch yourself,” my words are choppy from my ragged breathing.
“What?” Raven finally speaks, surprised by my request.
“Play with yourself,” I ask in a more demanding voice.
“Umm…” Raven hesitates. “I don’t really do that,” she admits in a small voice.
“Never?”
Raven shakes her head. I am surprised by her revelation, but I mask my shock. I don’t want her to feel self-conscious.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. Do you know how many times I have jerked off thinking about you? My dick twitches if I even look at you. Do you know why?”
Raven is staring at me in awe, her eyes opening a little wider. She waits for me to answer my own question.
“Because when you are with someone your soul is connected to, the physical aspect heightens to an immeasurable amount,” I say hoarsely. “Palpable energy mixed with an array of emotions; that’s what it feels like when I am with you. There is nothing like it in the world. It’s fucking addicting, like drugs, even better than drugs.”
I notice the effect my words have on Raven. Her face flushes. I watch her pupils dilate. Her chest is still rising and falling heavily.
I know that she wants me, but she doesn’t know how to break through her barriers to get to someone she doesn't trust. She has to become unhinged to let herself go, but that’s not her style.
“You know how we work with investment bankers?” I ask.
Raven frowns at the irrelevant topic. Nonetheless, she gives me a nod.
“Believe it not, half the assholes are addicted to cocaine,” I scoff. “I pitied their lack of self-control when I realized that I am no better. I am fucking addicted to you like they are to their drugs. I didn’t know which one was worse. Physical addiction or mental addiction. So, I tried it.”
“Tried what?”
“I tried cocaine at one of our company parties.”
“What?” Raven sounds baffled, and rightfully so. “Don’t do it again,” she chides.
