Page 93 of Isolation
Paranoid about what others might think of her, she used to refuse to leave her bedroom and interact with others.
Knowing who Tessa is, this isn’t something she can easily recover from. She is horrified that it happened in front of Raven’s parents. Embarrassing this family is her biggest insecurity.
Tessa doesn’t know how to recover from setbacks. This is a very well known fact in the Sinclair home, which is why everyone is so nervous right now.
This is why we always put our shit aside whenever Tessa related shit spirals out of control. There is only one other time when things got this out of control.
At that time, Dad was working in the Cayman Islands. Mia and Raven were worried about Tessa’s deteriorating depression and refused to leave her side.
I saw the effect it was having on them. So, I decided to send Tessa to Grand Cayman and have Dad take care of her.
It was the only time I have ever refused to take care of Tessa. Reid, Raven, and Mia were younger. I needed to prioritize their needs over Tessa’s.
I couldn’t let them continue growing up in a toxic environment, just like I had to. I simply couldn’t afford the kind of drama that came with Tessa, while raising three teenagers.
For a while, Tessa was doing better. I had hoped that she would turn things around for herself and this family. But then she simply fluctuated over the years.
I try the doctor again and hang up the phone when he doesn’t pick up. I stare at the inanimate object.
There is one more person I should call. I need to know that Reid is okay.
Reid has a habit of going down a path of self-destruction whenever he is upset. He is still fucking pissed at me over the whole Raven situation. I have no fucking idea how to verify if he is alright.
On top of the stress over Reid and Tessa, work has been insane. I am also now responsible for the living expenses of seven other people.
Sure, I have money. But New York is expensive, and these are people who are used to a luxurious lifestyle.
I look over to the bed and focus on the beautiful girl sitting there. At least I have that again. I let her face do its usual magic to alleviate all of the other shit and kill the items on my to-do list.
Raven is leaning against the headboard. Her mass of dark hair is covering part of the dress she wore at brunch. She is still a damn paradox. Raven looks like the peace I need, surrounded by the mass of chaos I am trying to get away from.
Tessa is lying on the pillow, as Raven strokes her hair. Dad is sitting in the armchair. Eyes closed. Head leaning backward. Defeated. Mia is huddled up, her head resting on Tessa’s pillow.
I am usually able to function on autopilot but even I feel exhausted by this scene. The idea of calling more doctors or going through another report is daunting right now.
A soft touch on my shoulders jolts me out of my own head. “Are you okay?”
I look up to find Raven. I almost have to squint. The floor lamp is behind her, so the light looks like a halo around her head as if she is an angel. She looks like Kismet. I don't believe in God but she looks like a prayer answered.
“Yeah,” I respond quietly. “Are you?”
Raven nods. “Do you want me to help you look over the H&P reports?”
I am sure my face gives away my shock. Everyone assumed that I would just take care of the next steps, but there is still only one person ready to lessenmyburden.
Raven doesn't wait for my confirmation. She pulls up a chair to sit down.
“I don’t know if you recall, but I used to write down every time Tessa had a bad episode. They are documented by date and symptoms. I told Mia to keep up the same log. Here,” Raven digs out a thick notebook and hands it to me. “If I remember correctly, Tessa experienced tremors while she was on her old antidepressant drug. We can check for the active ingredient in that drug and cross-reference to see if the same ingredient is in this new drug.”
Raven starts to sort through the paperwork to make an organized pile. She already has a highlighter out to mark all possible medication culprits.
“Since this is a clinical trial, there is no way to know about all the side effects and possible interactions. But we can check out the online support group they created for everyone in the trial. We can ask if anyone else experienced similar symptoms.”
Raven doesn’t wait for me to respond and cascades more ideas while organizing the table.
Like the disarrayed pile in front of me, she is slowly cleaning up the disarray inside of me.
As I watch her, she works at manic speed. I am transfixed by her hazel orbs, moving over the paperwork. She discusses different ideas for a plan of care without even taking a breath.
