Page 18 of Lust
Tobias kissed me softly, licking my lips as his tongue probed for entry. His tongue tangled with mine while his thumb stroked my cheek. It was a soul-crushingly slow kiss, and I cherished every nano-second.
Tobias broke the kiss at long last, palm resting on my nape.
Ever since we met, I had felt this indescribable pull toward him. He was the first man I had kissed in three years, and I felt light-headed at the realization.
“Sara, I want you to know….” He stared at me pensively. “I-I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day.”
“Tobias,” I found myself whispering.
He held my face between his hands, searching my eyes. “I mean… it’s insane how we met despite our parents already knowing one another. It feels like a sign that we were supposed to meet, you know?”
I blinked, remembering how pushy my mother could be. “About that. I-I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry if Mom harassed you into coming tonight.”
He smiled kindly. “Don’t be. I love her. When I told her who my dad was, she got him on the line, and they both insisted that I was to be your date for the evening.”
Sounded like something Mary Marcolf would do. Her one desire in life was to marry me off so I could give her a bunch of grandchildren.
“But,” he said unsurely, “when I asked her for your number or to pick you up, she suggested surprising you here. Apparently, you were not to be given a choice about this date because you’re in the business of turning away perfectly good men for no reason. Want to tell me what that’s all about?”
Like a cold bucket of water had doused me, I jolted in his hold. In my excitement, I had forgotten about the damned curse and why I chose to stay away from men.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I was doomed from the beginning. Why would I drag someone else into my mess? Why did I risk Tobias’ well-being by letting him kiss me?
A blaring memory flashed in my mind.
On a night very much like this one, Mom had tried to present me into society for the second year in a row. This time, my escort was Alex Bowman, another of her friends’ sons.
During the formal, I realized that Alex was popular, athletic, gorgeous… and mildly chauvinistic. He bored the mentality that girls should be seen, not heard. Suffice to say, Alex wasn’t on track to be the great love of my life. My perception of him only deteriorated when he got handsy after the dance, leading to my hasty exit.
The next day, we discovered that he had been admitted to critical care. A vigilante robbed Alex in the parking lot, shoved him to the ground, then ran over his hands in their haste to drive away.
After the incident, I found Dad studying me skeptically. It was hard to ignore that both the children of Mary’s associates were harmed by interacting with me. There wasn’t a verbal accusation, although his glances were quite telling.
Alarm bells went off in my head at the memory, and my rational senses returned for the first time tonight.
“I’m so sorry,” I said softly. Placing both hands on his chest, I shoved him back. He slightly stumbled before catching himself. Bewildered, Tobias extended his arm to hold me again, but I stepped out of reach.
“What’s wrong?”
“I have to go.” I turned to leave, but Tobias grabbed my elbow.
“Did I do something wrong?” he frowned in concern.
“N-No,” I stuttered. “I-I just have to go.”
“Sara,” he said softly, “we were just talking, and everything was fine. I-I must have said something to freak you out. Shit, I probably came on too strong. I-I just like you so much, and I don’t want to play games.”
I covered his hand with my own and slowly removed it from my arm. “It’s not that. I-I am so sorry, Tobias. I really have to go.” I paused. “Just promise me one thing—you’ll be extra careful tonight.”
“What?” Tobias asked in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Tobias was new in town and didn’t know what had happened to all the other boys. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. Guilt dripped through every bit of my conscience that I might have put him at risk.
This had been the most romantic night of my life, and perhaps it’d be the only one I’d ever get. I didn’t want to taint it by revealing my baggage. I only hoped our time together was so insignificant that nothing terrible would transpire of it.
“I can’t explain it.” Because you’d never believe me.
