Page 44 of Discord
Raven provided me with one last compromise. She asked me to wait a year, then reevaluate my feelings for Brandon. She insisted that enrolling in college was my shot at gaining real-life experience, embracing new experiences and exploring more relationships, platonic or otherwise.
She wasn’t entirely wrong. A few weeks around Brandon and I had forgotten about the few cherished friendships I had developed. I mulled over the thoughts and then picked up the phone to call Gabby. It had been weeks since we last spoke. The phone rang a few times. When I glanced at the clock and calculated the time difference, I realized Gabby was likely asleep.
My fingers hovered over another name. I doubted he wanted to hear from me but hit the call button regardless.
“Mia.” The voice sounded surprised on the other end.
“Didn’t think you’d pick up.”
After a deliberate pause, Chris quietly admitted, “I missed you.”
Relief poured through me. “Chris, I’m so sorry about our last conversation—”
“No, Mia,” he cut me off. “Don’t be. I should be the one apologizing. I-I held back, and of course, you noticed—”
“Chris, you don’t have to explain yourself.”
“Mia,” he started hesitantly. “There is something you should know about me.”
“Chris, it’s okay,” I pressed meaningfully. “I know.”
He was quiet for a moment. “You know?” he asked tentatively.
“Yes,” I admitted. “But you can tell me again when you are ready. I’ll be here for you either way.”
The insinuation was clear. He wasn’t willing to come out yet, but I’d be there for him when he was ready.
In typical Chris fashion, he blew past it and asked me about my life instead. I didn’t hold back and told him about Brandon, carefully stepping around any illegal matters, i.e., meeting Brandon in Italy or stalking him. I finished off the conversation with a run-down of yesterday’s fight.
“I feel like I’m being asked to choose between my family and him.” It tore me open when Milo and Raven used to put me in the middle. For years, I was shoved between two people I loved while they shuffled me between Paris and New York. I couldn’t bear being shoved in the middle of Brandon and my family as well. “I don’t know if the things my family want are right for me,” I ended.
“Hmm,” Chris responded thoughtfully.
“You think I’m an idiot for reconsidering college because of a boy?” Chris thought it was a privilege to attend college since not everyone had the resources to do so. It made me sound ungrateful to choose otherwise given that my family was offering to pay for an extremely expensive education, whereas Chris had to nickel and dime his way through college.
“Of all the thoughts running through my mind, calling you an idiot is not it. You don’t need me or anyone else telling you that you’re smart. You’ll be fine with or without college.”
I held my breath because the sweet words were gearing up to something I didn’t want to hear. “But?” I prodded.
He sighed. “But your sister has a point.”
I closed my eyes. Even though I had admitted as much, I secretly hoped he’d say differently. “I have never seen Raven so angry,” I whispered.
“It sounds like Brandon is an old family friend. She trusted him enough to let him babysit you, only to find out he was sexually involved with you. I could see why she was angry. You hear so many of these stories with older men—”
“Oh, God,” I cut him off. “It wasn’t like that. Not at all.”
“I know. I know,” he replied quickly, pacifying me. “But it was the first thought to pop into my mind. How do you think other people will perceive it?”
I fell backward on my pillow and closed my eyes. He was right. If word got out about us, people would perceive Brandon as a predator and rip him to shreds for it. “But it’s not like that,” I defended faintly.
“I believe you,” he said. “But I’m not the one you need to convince.”
I rubbed my temples, feeling the wrath of an oncoming migraine. “What would you do if you were in my position?”
Another heavy exhale. “I wouldn’t choose.”
The statement was so authentically Chris that it made me laugh. “Come again?”
