Page 134 of House of Crimson Kisses
“The fuck, Sadie? You sneak up on me like that, it’s enough to give me a heart attack,” I say, trying to bring my breathing back to normal.
She laughs. It’s silent, but her open mouth and rocking shoulders are a giveaway. She raises her hands and signs at me. “I was trying to take the competition out early.”
I tense up. Did I put myself in danger by meeting her? She pouts, her eyes glimmering in the dappled moonlight showering through the trees.
“Were you?” I ask.
She shakes her head, smiling. She was making a joke? The pressure gripping my shoulders eases away.
“Then why did you ask me here?” I ask.
Her lips press together. She glances over my shoulder and scans the surrounding area. When she’s satisfied there’s no one in the vicinity, she signs.
“You’re ready.”
“For wh?—”
She tilts her head at me.
“You’re offering to give me my memories back?”
She rubs her thumb over her middle and index fingers in the same way I remember my father doing as he proudly told us he’d secured a higher paying job.
I sigh. “You’ll give them back for a price?”
She nods and signs, “And it won’t come cheap. So how much do you want the memories, Red?”
“More than anything.”
“Why is it you want them?”
“Because she took them. Octavia took them and even though she says it was by my request, she won’t return them now despite my asking. She’s controlling a piece of me, and that’s the kind of behaviour I hate from people in power. I want to love her with my whole heart, but I can’t. How am I supposed to love someone who keeps a piece of me that isn’t theirs to have?”
“So it’s about love?” she says.
“And power.”
That makes her smile. “Is there a difference?”
I open my mouth to answer and find I cannot. Are love and power really the same? If I love her, does she have power over me? If she loves me, do I wield power over her? Are any of us really free? If we love another, do we sacrifice that freedom for them? Or perhaps we gift it to them. Maybe that is the true power of love—we gift our hearts, our souls and the freedom we breathe. We drop it into the hands of our lovers, praying they’ll keep it safe. Keep us whole. Keep our freedom nestled alongside theirs.
“Perhaps not,” I finally answer.
She nods at me as if she approves of my answer. “I’ll give you what you want. But I’m certain this is one of those times where you should be careful what you wish for. Sometimes things leave us for a reason. Some secrets should stay hidden.”
I take a moment to catch up with what she said. Replay the signs in my head, processing her words, and as I comprehend each one, my skin grows colder. Like her words are an omen, a warning filled with ice.
I shake it off. She hasn’t seen my memories yet. Which makes me pause. What if she can go into any of my memories? What if she works out who I really am?
“If I share my mind with you, will you be able to access my other memories?”
“Yes, but if I did, you’d know about it and be able to throw me out of your head. I’ll only access what has been lost to you.”
“Then tell me, what is the price you require?” I ask.
“Mother is only going to make one of each pair fight this evening.”
I frown. “What? Why? I figured we’d all have to fight each other.”
