Page 150 of House of Crimson Kisses
“Octavia, you’re scaring me. What the fuck is wrong?”
Her chest rises and falls, her eyes wider than I’ve ever seen them.
“OCTAVIA?” I bark.
“Amelia.”
One word, and it shatters my entire world.
Octavia is already gone; she’s speeding across the small field between the cottage and Dahlia’s house. I’m out the door, I don’t even shut it, I leave it swinging behind me as I run faster than I’ve ever run. I pump my arms so hard that goosebumps fleck out over my skin.
Octavia has vanished inside the house, and I want to scream.
I want to pray to the gods to have her speed and strength. Because I swear I’ll slaughter anyone who hurts Amelia.
I run harder, faster. I push my body until my throat dries and I’m convinced I’m going to suffocate. Still, I dig deeper, until my vision greys.
It’s then that I reach the door, cursing my pathetic human heart for not being able to withstand a faster pace. For not being fitter and stronger. For not being more powerful.
This was the beat. The misalignment from the fragments that Sadie showed me and the altered version Octavia had given me.
This is the truth. I wasn’t there for her because I was with Octavia.
I barge through the door. But it’s too late. The me in the present recognises that Amelia is already mid-transition.
She rounds on me, screaming and shouting. “YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE. YOU SHOULD HAVE COME FOR ME. YOU ALWAYS COME FOR ME, RED.”
She’s hysterical, maniacal.
“It’s the transition,” Octavia says over Amelia’s shrieking. “Red, get out. She might?—”
“Transition? NO,” I shriek.
I fall to my knees, sobbing and shaking as I realise what’s happened.
“What the fuck did you do, Octavia?” I’m screaming, I don’t even recognise the shattered voice coming from me right now.
“I had no choice. I had to.”
“YOU TURNED HER?” I scream.
And everything crashes down around me. I see stars. I lean forward and vomit. The one person I loved more than anything is gone from me.
All because of one stupid argument. One stupid night of sex meant I wasn’t there for the one person who needed me. This is my mother all over again. I failed to save her. I failed to save Amelia.
“Amelia, I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry.”
But my sister grabs me by the shoulders.
“This is your fault,” she says, and her nails dig into my back. Blood sprays my face as she shakes me and my heart shatters into tiny, jagged pieces.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I should have been there. I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry. Please forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” She laughs, high-pitched and shrieking. Then she bends over, dragging me down as she retches and throws up right next to where I did.
She snarls at me. “It’s your fault. It was your fault Mum died. Your fault Dad abandoned us. You didn’t make it to her that night, just like you didn’t make it to me tonight. You’re useless. You prance around on your high horse, making out like you’re the responsible one, and you’ve never really looked after any of us.”
“Amelia, please,” I sob. Every word she says is like a knife to my gut. My heart is splintering as she screams in my face.
