Page 93 of House of Crimson Kisses
“Vile,” Lincoln says. “There’s no fate worse than falling for a fucking drainer.”
A middle-aged woman appears, her brown curls scooped up into a neat bun, those familiar blue eyes boring into me. She’s not in uniform; it takes me a minute to recognise her.
“Chief?” I say, scanning her dress. A dress? Is this a prank?
The Chief folds her arms. “You were meant for so much more. I really thought you’d take over from me one day, Red. You are the biggest disappointment of them all.”
Keir appears. Talulla, and even Fenella. Fenella? I thought she died. Where am I? They all point, their fingers trained on me like arrows.
“Traitor.” Their whispers sing the word like a lullaby. It worms its way into my mind, filling my head with poison.
“I’m not a traitor. The Academy is everything to me.”
“TRAITOR. TRAITOR. TRAITOR.” Their whispered words scream at me.
The accusation circling.
Repeating.
Blaming.
“Please, it wasn’t like that. The Chief asked me to go undercover. This is all part of a job.”
I can’t breathe. My chest is so tight I’m hyperventilating. My fingers tingle. They can’t abandon me too.
“Isshepart of a job, too?” Lincoln asks, and I know he means Octavia. How can I answer that when I wasn’t meant to fall for her? I am supposed to be undercover for the Academy, but somewhere along the line, I lost my heart.
I stare at him, opened-mouthed and unable to respond. I can’t lie, the lie won’t even leave my lips.
“I—” I start, my vision dappling with static.
He snorts. “Pathetic. You’re just like Erin, another fallen hunter.”
They all turn their backs to me, leaving me alone. I fall to my knees, the ache in my chest suffocating me, drowning me. This is where my heart crumbles. Broken from the loss of everyone I love and all because I couldn’t save them.
I couldn’t save anyone.
“You saved me,” a familiar voice drifts through my mind.
“Octavia?” I whisper.
“Every time I lose you, you come back to me. You save me, Red. Your heart, your mind, your body. You were born for me.”
“But I couldn’t save them,” I say, my voice cracking.
“Some people aren’t meant to be saved. Some people need to save themselves.”
“It should have been me. I should have been strong enough,” I say.
“You weren’t ready for the power then.”
“What? And I am now?”
“You’re the only one who can answer that. But you won’t if you don’t get up and save yourself first. Get the fuck up. Don’t lose yourself here. Leave and return to me so we can finish this together.”
I stand up and get off the cold tiles where I was ready to lie down and desiccate like many of the vampires I’ve killed.
I flash the other hunters one last look. Their backs still face me, and I turn around. Leaving them and choosing me instead.
