Page 122 of House of Crimson Kisses
He huffs and meets my gaze at last. “Dahlia was right about you. You’re nothing but a scourge on this city. I hope she wins, and I hope Red sees you for what you are.”
A little piece of me shatters. I am so tired of making enemies. All I want is for people to understand me. For me as me to be enough. One step forward with the server, one step back with Lincoln. Will I always be stuck in purgatory? Or will I find a way to win this city’s love?
There is nothing I want more.
I want to feel like this city, this place I have called home for a thousand years, wants me. That I belong here as much as any other citizen. What must I do for them to accept me?
Everything I do is to protect them. I foster the economy in my territory because I want to see it prosper. I want to foster real peace, genuine acceptance so that everyone can belong.
Red’s knuckles whiten where she grips the rail. I step up next to her but face forward as well.
“I thought the feed last night helped, yet you appear sick,” I whisper.
“It did,” she says, turning to me.
“Find a card table and take a seat. You shouldn’t be standing if you’re this weak.”
“How am I meant to get through the rest of the trials if I am declining?”
“You know how, Red. You just don’t want to do it.”
Mother appears across the room, sweeping the crowd with her gaze. She ascends the small raised dais beside the central bar.
“Welcome, nobles, hunters, vampires and humans. Tonight is an evening of revelry. Of fun and games, of cards, and hounds and drinking. Let us forget the sorrows of yesterday and rejoice in what is to come.”
My stomach turns, knowing there is more than that to this evening. Across the room, Xavier’s eyes find mine. He wears tension like a jacket, all stiff across his shoulders and hard jawline.
Mother opens her arms as the Chief, or should I say Eleanor, strolls onto the small dais next to her.
I try to imagine them loving each other. Try to imagine them holding hands, kissing. The thought promptly makes me feel sick, so I stop imagining it. Even so, I want to see a romantic seed. Something to tell me that Red’s vision was correct. They stand next to each other, an icy wasteland of space between them.
Was the story Cordelia told all a lie? Were they really lovers once? Did the same curse that made them also break their love?
I stare hard, desperate to find any shred of evidence that there was once an intimacy between them. But I find nothing.
It’s the Chief who speaks next. “Tomorrow night, we will hold the penultimate trial.”
She turns to Mother and smiles. It’s forced.
Mother turns back to the crowd. “Tomorrow, our contestants will fight. This is the trial of strength. A preparation for what is inside the border.”
My stomach sinks. Red’s fists ball. She must recognise that she won’t get through a fight without drinking human blood. Hell, I’m not even sure she’s going to get through tonight.
She stares up at me, and for the first time since I’ve known her, I find fear buried in her gaze. The sight of that alone is enough to give me nightmares.
Chapter35
CORDELIA
One Thousand Years Ago
Iam sitting in a carriage as I pull out a scribing tool and journal. Before what comes next, I need to think.
To work out where it all went wrong.
So, I put pen to paper and begin to write.
* * *
