Page 20 of Architecti
The wax snaps, an awful sound that cuts through my teeth.I flinch as a tree branch clips the window.I need to get a grip.
The black card peels open.Wait, wasn’t my rejection letter white?The dark colour almost shines; it reminds me of the imposing iron gates.
My eyes flit to the bin again but the original letter doesn’t appear.I flip open the card, and my mouth falls open.
It’s at times like this that I question every rational thought that has passed through my mind.
I should see the fact that the words are scrawled in a red ink the same colour as my blood as a warning.
I should also consider the fact some deep part of my mind is certain I was rejected, and this can’t be happening, thus it’s a warning sign.
And above all, I should heed the warning bells screaming in my mind: I lost an entire chunk of the evening.Something is very wrong tonight.
But I don’t do any of that.
I don’t care how I got the letter.Nor why.
I don’t care that my gut is screaming.Nor that I feel like I’m losing my sanity.
I ignore the crawling sensation slithering through my veins, settling in my throat and curling around my lungs.
None of that matters.
Because what lays before me, is the glimmering promise of a future.
And that is worth everything.
7
Midnight
The thing about lesbians is that we fall hard and fast.The fact we u-haul right into lesbian bed death should be an alarm bell to warn us off moving so fast.
But lesbians will be lesbians.
We love different.
Harder, hotter, brighter.Our love burns like the light of a thousand stars.Lesbians love intensely enough they’d peel their skin off and climb inside the body of their loved one, just to get a little bit closer.
Our love is the definition of obsessive, addictive, consuming.
When our eyes lock on a girl, there is only her.It’s what makes a woman’s love so intoxicating.
And so.Fucking.Dangerous.
Aurelia and I u-hauled.Hard.
We met at eighteen.She became my world.And in that young, naive way I thought it would last forever.I thought I was grown up and understood the world, that I knew better.What I know now is that I didn’t know shit back then.
I willingly gave her my heart.
I openly gave her my body.
And stupidly, I gave her my soul.
For two long years we lived in each other’s pockets, breathed the same air, drank from the same young love Kool-Aid.
Until one night that changed everything.
