Page 23 of A Perfect Holiday
“Let me go!”
The door opened, and Ethan came in, his face scored and pinched. He looked at me, his eyes saying it all. “He’s in bad shape. The vet’s not sure if he’s going to make it, but they’ll do the best he can.”
I renewed my struggle to get loose. He’d really hurt Henry’s dog and that little boy grievously. Ineededto pound his drunken, sorry-assed face into the ground.
The door opened again, and Sheriff Dalton came into the waiting room. He took one look at me and said, “There’s no need to go after him, Boone. The son of a bitch wrapped his truck around a tree. He’s dead.”
I clenched my fists, and my jaw, and a sound of rage escaped me, so anguished Verity ran over to me and pulled me against her.
We took Henry home with us, and I held him until he fell asleep. When I came out of the bedroom, Verity was working on one of the elf costumes.
She dropped her hands and said, “How is he?”
“Asleep. I want to keep him here until…” I covered my eyes and took several breaths. Verity’s arms came around me.
“We can keep him. That’s okay.”
I nodded, knuckling my eyes. “Verity, I need to talk to you, and I can’t put it off any longer.”
She tensed, but cooperated when I drew her to the couch and sat her down. “Yesterday, Breebree volunteered to serve as our surrogate.”
Verity’s face closed down, and she pulled away from me, but I held onto her arm. “Listen to me,” I said. “I have to tell you thatit ripped me up when you told me you had complications with Duel. I felt guilty and responsible. I also felt like you didn’t trust me. Holding back that information was unfair and wrong. I had a right to know. Just like I had a right to know about Duel being my son.”
“I explained all that, Boone.”
“I understood about Duel. I didn’t like it, but I understood. But not telling me about the possibility of not being able to have more kids. That I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I think you did.”
“What!?”
“You don’t like dealing with awful stuff. You have a track record. But you need to learn life is full of awful stuff. It’s just a matter of choosing how to handle it. If we are to be united one hundred percent, we can’t hold anything back. I need you, even when the decisions are hard, even when the decision breaks my heart. I know that now. So I had to tell you. I love you so much. I want that connection we had back. You need to deal with the awful stuff right now.”
She looked at me, her expression bleak. “Boone, this has been a horrible few days.”
“Agreed, but were going to talk about this now, Verity.”
She hunched her shoulders and turned away, her body tight, as if she was trying to ward off the pain. She tipped her head back, and I watched her, my face feeling like cement. I knew I was backing her into a corner, and I knew I wasn’t being particularly nice about it, but I also knew we had to finish this, one way or another. Our marriage was on the line.
After a long, tense moment, she looked at me, her face deathly white. She stared, her eyes stark. “I don’t want to,” she whispered unsteadily. “I need time.” Her eyes pleading with me, she spread out her hand on my thigh.
My face stiff with renewed anger, I held her eyes. “Time for what? We have Duel, and we have the opportunity to be there for Henry. He needs us now. He’s lost everything, and that made me realize that we have everything to give him. We have our love, our care, and our family to give him. I want to trust you again. But I need you to show me that you understand what I’m saying.”
Tears came to her lashes, and she abruptly wiped them away, then folded her arms. She stared across the room, her profile strained. “What if I can’t?”
My temper flaring, I glared at her. I took a breath and looked away, making a conscious effort to check my anger, forcing my muscles to relax. “Then we don’t really have anything to talk about.”
There was a long, strained silence; I rose but stopped when she said, “I hurt you very badly, didn’t I?” she whispered unevenly.
“Yes,” I said, and then walked away. It was up to her now. She had to find the courage to meet me halfway—hell, even a quarter of the way, and I’d be there. But, bottom line, there couldn’t be any more secrets between us, ever.
If only I could get that feeling back, that unconditional faith and trust in her. I was wrestling with my feelings all over again, and guilt about adding to Verity’s heartache. While that kernel of pain I had stifled was getting bigger after the news that we couldn’t have any more children.
I was beginning to believe our relationship wouldn’t ever be the same, that between her secret and this terrible reality, our bond had been shattered. So far Verity had refused to even consider options, much less explore them. I hadn’t pushed it, but it was something we would need to discuss. Afterward, I left her sleeping and called my brothers, asked them to spread theword so everyone knew and Verity wouldn’t have to go through it person by person.
That was as final as my resolve to do what I had to do, even though it would kill me.
