Page 28 of Pretty Lethal
“But what really made me understand how wrong I was, was you. When I got Hawk’s phone call that day saying you were missing, I was out of my mind with worry. It was then that I realized I couldn’t go back to living without you again. I wasn’t yet ready to accept what that meant, but it was enough to know I’d been wrong in thinking I could simply walk away from you—from all of this.
“It was the same when I woke up in that hospital and Kai was gone. I knew something terrible had happened, and I didn’t give a shit if it killed me—Ihadto get to you. I was still fighting with my inner demons at that point, but I knew it was a losing battle. It didn’t matter if I believed I wasn’t worthy or if I knew it would end in disaster again, I couldn’t stay away. I didn’twantto.”
Her wide eyes, so open and expressive, bore into mine, drinking in everything that I was telling her. “And now?” she asks, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
My hands reflexively squeeze her throat as I fall into the endless depths of her eyes. “Now, I finally know how it feels to have a home. A woman to love who loves you in return and two men who can share in exactly how incredible that feeling is. So, you’re saying you’ll be at my side if I want to get to know my family, but the truth is, I already know my family. They’re the brother I’ve shared a house with for four years, the white knight who was there for my girl when I couldn’t be, and the only woman who can pull me out of the darkness.”
“And what about your demons?”
I run my hand over her hair. “They’re still there. I’m not sure there will ever be a day when they aren’t talking in my ear, but I know that with you here to contradict them, I’ll make it through.”
She presses up on her toes, a move that has her lips hovering over mine. My eyes close, soaking in her soft touch when she reaches a hand up to brush her fingers through my hair. “I will always be here to show you how worthy you are. You deserve happiness and love, and a family who cares about you, Wilder. You have all of those things, and I won’t let your doubts and insecurities ruin it for you.”
She solidifies her promise with the sweetest of kisses, which leaves no room for dispute, and I have to physically tear myself away from her when I hear students out in the hall.
“Go on a date with me,” I blurt, unable to look away from her. Especially when she rewards me with that luminescent smile of hers.
“I would love to go on a date with you, Wilder.”
I’m grinning when I take another step back, knowing she needs to open the door so she can get started on her first class of the day. “I’ll see you after class, Angel.”
“Let me know how things go,” she calls before I open the door and the sounds of students chatting in the hallway fill the room.
I promise her I will before walking away, sporting a wide-ass grin and even high-fiving some random guy waiting in the hall. I don’t give a shit about what else is happening today. I have my Angel back, and she’s agreed to go out with me.
It’s going to be a great fucking day.
* * *
“Wilder,”Robbie greets when I walk into his office that afternoon. “How have you been?”
His easy demeanor is so at odds with the unease churning in my stomach, but I force a smile to my face, more than familiar with acting as though I’m the same as everyone around me.
“Fine.”
He nods. “Did you get the invitation to this year’s Christmas party?”
“I did.”
“It should be quite the event. The perfect opportunity for you to get to know some important people.” I can hear the insinuation in his tone, yet I don’t respond, simply waiting until he gets to the point of this entire farce of a meeting.
He huffs out a small breath at my obstinance. “Still refusing to pick a major?”
“I’ve come this far, why choose one now?” I retort as I drop into the chair in front of his desk. I’m sure as hell not about to confide in him that I’ve been thinking maybe I should since Emilia’s conversation at the library. Her words got me thinking about what I wanted out of life. Until I met her, I’d never given my future any consideration. Why would I when I was convinced my demons would have eaten me alive before I ever reached it?
Then, I got to know my Angel, and without being aware of it, I started making plans. Small ones, but plans, nonetheless. After she so painfully shot down my summer vacation proposal and drove out of the gates of Pacific Prep with my heart dangling on a string behind her, scraping against the asphalt until it was shredded to pieces, I reverted back to simply surviving.
But things are different now. It’s not like how it was at Pac. It’s not the infatuation I felt for her back then. It’s not me clinging to her for the sole reason that she makes me feel human. What we have is deeper, more everlasting. Now that the truths between us have been laid bare, and she has seen the darkest, scariest parts of me, I can feel howrealthis thing between us is. I don’t just want to plan a summer vacation for her; I want to plan an entire lifewithher.
And part of that includes me figuring out what the fuck I’m going to do after college. I don’t just want to bum around, living off my father’s blood money. I want to be someone Emilia can be proud of—I just haven’t figured out exactly what that is, but it starts by choosing a major.
“Most Clearwaters major in finance, business, or law.” He doesn’t even look up from whatever paperwork is on his desk. Which is just as well, as it means he doesn’t notice the curl of my lip I fail to hide. Like, I give a shit what other Clearwaters do. Even when I thought I wanted to be one of them, I still wouldn’t have conformed. There’s only one woman I could ever want to be a better person for.
“Sounds dull,” I drawl, kicking my ankle up to rest on my knee as I settle into the chair, getting comfy.
It’s all for show, of course. Gone is the easy camaraderie I felt in Robbie’s presence. I’m not entirely sure when it happened, but I can sense now that he’s not on my side. Or maybe I always knew, but now that I have something to lose, I’m starting to give a shit.
He shrugs, still not looking at me. I don’t know if it’s an act meant to put me at ease or make me feel snubbed. Either way, I don’t give a shit. “It’s not too late yet. It would impress Grandfather.”
