Page 38 of Pretty Lethal
“You should go out and have some fun,” Kai says, completely taking me by surprise. He must see it written all over my face. “No one is after you anymore. There’s no reason for you to remain cooped up in the house. You deserve a night of college fun.”
“But, what if someone sees me?”
“Trust me, no one will be expecting to find their English professor at a college party. Wear something you wouldn’t wear to class, maybe do something different with your hair or makeup, and stick close to Hawk and Wilder. You’ll be fine.”
“You’re not coming?”
He raises an eyebrow. “To a college party? Definitely not.”
“Then why do I have to go?”
“Because you actually want to go, you’re just letting your fears get in the way. Besides, aren’t you spending the night at the frat tonight? May as well go all-out and live the whole college experience while you’re there.”
I stare up into his eyes for a moment longer before deflating. “Fine. I’ll go.”
Kai smirks. “That’s the spirit.”
* * *
Several hours later,and for the first time, I’m actually having fun at a college party. Of course, it helps that I’ve been sandwiched between Hawk and Wilder all night. At least one of them is always at my side. I decided to wear a short, black bodycon dress with black stilettos, and I did my makeup heavier than usual. It’s been a long time since I got dressed up like this to go to a party, and I must admit, it was kinda fun.
When I was at Halston, I’d look at these parties as events Ihadto go to in order to say I had the full college experience, yet I always dreaded them. I hated them when I was there, and I’d always make an excuse to leave early.
However, now that I’m no longer looking at every guy in the room and picking apart their similarities and differences to Hawk and Wilder, it’s not the dreaded event it once was. Going to those parties and watching couples fawn all over one another always made me miss them more, but now that they are right here with me, all I want to do is soak up every second.
The only thing that could make it better is if Kai were here, but I get that drunken college parties aren’t his thing. I make a mental note for all four of us to do something fun together soon—something that isn’t disposing of our enemies’ bodies.
Hawk brushes his thumb along my lower lip, pulling me back into the room as I smile up at him. My arms are entwined around his neck as we dance near the edge of the throng of writhing bodies.
“It still takes me by surprise when you smile like that,” he says quietly. The only reason I can even hear him is because we’re standing so close together.
“Like what?”
“With your whole body. You push every ounce of happiness into it, and it radiates through, shining like a beacon. If it wasn’t for the fact you’ve only had eyes for me and Wilder tonight, I’d be concerned.”
“Good, because you shouldn’t be concerned,” I say sincerely. “Do you know why I hated coming to these parties?” When he shakes his head, I continue. “I’d see you and Wilder in the faces of every man there. Or, more specifically, I wouldn’t see you—the only two people Iwantedto see. The only two my heart ached for. I’d spend all night watching couples make out with one another, and all of it served as a reminder of what I threw away.” Tears sting my eyes, and I have to force myself not to look away from him. “I thought I was making the right decision. I hadn’t realized it would hurt so badly to let you go, or that you’d both cling to me so stubbornly that I’d see your faces everywhere I went.”
Hawk brushes my hair back from my face, his eyes filled with sadness and longing on my behalf. “Well, we’re both stubborn, I’ll give you that.”
His joke breaks the gravity of the moment, and I can’t help smiling.
When Wilder reappears, carrying drinks for us in red solo cups, we down them before he drags me further out onto the dance floor, stating it’s his turn for a dance.
Despite my reluctance to come, I actually have a great time. It’s amazing what a difference it makes when you’re attending a party with the people you genuinely want to be with, and I end up tipsier than I’d anticipated by the time the three of us stumble out into the night.
Wilder is wasted, and Hawk isn’t faring much better as the two of them fail miserably at trying to hold each other up, arguing over who would fare better against the Hulk. Honestly, my answer is the Hulk—not that I’ll admit that to either of them.
When we reach Kappa Epsilon House, I follow them inside. The interior is finely decorated, with a sophisticated, upscale feel.
“The library is that way,” Hawk stage whispers loud enough that I whip my head around to glare at him. Thankfully, Wilder is too out of it to have heard him.
“How did you know?” I hiss, keeping one eye on Wilder as we ascend the stairs to make sure he doesn’t decide to listen in—or fall backward and crack his head open.
Hawk simply arches an eyebrow before producing a key from his pocket. “You’ll need that to get in.”
Damn. Hawk had mentioned that it was locked on nights when there was a party at the frat, but I hadn’t considered the fact that I’d need a specific key to access it on non-party nights. I glance up at him before reaching my hand out to take the key, however he pulls back at the last second, leaving me frowning at him.
“You don’t seriously think I’d let you go alone, do you?”
