Page 47 of Frozen Hearts
He stutters to a stop in front of me, lips curling upward as his gaze drops to take in my outfit. “Fucking hell, Shortcake. You look incredible.”
I stare down at myself, self-conscious as I take in the cute hunter-green dress that shows off the curve of my hips before falling to my mid-thigh. The top half is hidden beneath my thick coat but looks just as good, showing a hint of cleavage.
Usually, I rock up to class dressed casually in age-old jeans and an oversized hoodie or plain top, not giving a shit what the other students might think or say, but tonight I wanted to look good for Logan. Something I haven’t wanted to do in a really long time.
For far too long, I have been trapped in a cycle of self-hate, shrouding my body under oversized garments that hide any hint of femininity, afraid to show the world that I was all woman because of the attention it might draw. It has taken years for me to feel comfortable in my own skin, to not panic if I wear something flattering and sexy.
Even then, I still have moments where the fear renders me immobile—like at The Depot. The second I walked in there and saw all those people and the bright lights, I was rooted to the spot. Thank God Tara managed to talk me down, or I would have had to leave.
Moments like that show me that, despite the work I've done, I'm not entirely there yet. My past, my fears and insecurities, still linger, ready to leap forward and remind me that no matter how far I come, I'll always be a little bit broken inside.
Thankfully, those moments are few and far between. Mostly because I rarely dress up and go out. And when I'm on campus or in Halston, I generally wear comfortable, loose clothing—clothing that enables me to fade into the background and move around unseen.
I can put on a tight dress and go out when I need to, and if I know in advance, I can usually keep the panic to a minimum, but I don’t feel truly comfortable until I’m back in my sweats and burrowed into a sweater.
The only time when it is different is when I'm at Lux. Whenever I step through the doors of the club, I set Riley aside and become someone else, and ultimately, pushing myself to get up and dance in revealing clothing has helped me to claw back some semblance of control. It has gone a long way toward helping me feel confident in my body and acknowledging that it’s okay to like the way I look. To show it off. It doesn’t mean I’m inviting unwanted attention. I’m not giving men a free pass to take advantage. If they deem it acceptable to cross that line, that’s on them. Not me.
Tonight, I wanted to look good for Logan, but I also wanted to feel sexy for me. Although it might not look like it, tonight is important to me. It’s my first real date, and I know I’m on it with the right man. I want it to be perfect.
Lifting my gaze, my throat goes dry as I take in Logan standing there in his dark denim jeans and white fitted Henley with a pale-blue open shirt thrown over the top. He looks hot in a casual sort of way. Perfectly Logan. He’s put some gel through his hair, giving it that mussedjust fuckedappearance that does sinful things to my insides. “So do you.”
He grins, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to my cheek before moving to open the passenger door and helping me in.
The interior of the car is sleek and modern, with a black leather dashboard and seats that feel like butter against my skin.
“Where are we going?” I ask when he climbs in beside me and pulls onto the road.
“I remembered you saying you wanted to see that new psychological thriller that came out several months ago, and I found it still showing in a theater in Springview, so I thought we’d do that.”
All I can do is stare at him in surprise, shocked he remembered. It had been an offhand comment I made several weeks ago while we were discussing something else.
“But if you don’t like that idea, we can do something else.” His face scrunches, his focus on the road as he rubs at the back of his neck. “Umm… we can go grab something to eat, or, uhh, do you like miniature golf? We could go do that.”
I reach across the center console and rest my hand on his thigh, giving it a light squeeze to stop his rambling. “The movie sounds perfect.”
He glances down at where I’m touching him before turning his head to meet my gaze. “You sure?”
“Absolutely. I’ve been dying to see it. I should probably warn you that I’m a jumper, though. So be prepared for flying popcorn.”
My jesting does the trick, and the tension bleeds out of him as he relaxes into his seat, laughing. “Maybe I’ll be responsible for holding the popcorn.”
“Probably wise.” Now that he seems more relaxed, I start to pull my hand away, but as I do, he encases it with his, keeping it in place.
Fighting a smile, I turn my head to look out the passenger window as we travel down the street heading out of town.
“How are you feeling about tomorrow’s game?” I ask, breaking the comfortable silence we’d been sitting in. The dark country road is starting to give way to street lights and more and more buildings as we drive into Springview.
“Good. Great, even. Penn State is a tough team, but with the way we’ve been playing, I’m confident we’ll beat them.” He glances my way. “I’ll FaceTime you beforehand?”
Tomorrow and Saturday’s games are both away games, and true to my word, I’ve agreed that we can FaceTime before they begin and before I have to leave for work. I have rehearsals on Friday before my shift, but I can watch his game on the TV on Saturday before I have to head to Lux.
“Yup.”
We park in a parking lot across the road from the movie theater, and Logan takes my hand in his before we cross the street. He buys us our tickets and enough food to feed a small army before we grab our seats.
“Fucking hell,” he groans when I remove my coat and place it over the empty seat beside me. “You’re going to have to give me a play-by-play of the movie later because I’m telling you now, I’m going to be too busy looking at you to pay it any attention.”
My cheeks heat and I duck my head as I settle in beside him. He drapes an arm over the back of my chair, his fingers grazing my upper arm as his other hand comes up to pinch my chin. He lifts my head until I’m staring into his eyes. “I’m serious, Riley. You’re so beautiful, and I’m not just talking about your bangin’ body. You’re beautiful inside and out.”
