Page 36 of Frozen Hearts
It’s insane how much this girl is in my head. The fact I’m thinking about her and not the imminent game or the fact scouts could be in the stands at this very moment—so it’s imperative that I remain in the zone—says everything about how deeply under my skin Riley is embedded.
The way I feel when I’m around her, I’ve never had that before. Other than some of the guys on the team, Grayson, and Royce, I’ve never been able to talk so openly to another person. Definitely not a girl. And I’ve never had them genuinely care.
What she said on Monday… It felt so fucking good to hear. I hadn’t meant to open up to her. No one other than Grayson and Royce knows of my struggle to follow my own dreams and to ensure the continuation of everything my father has worked so hard to build. No one has ever cared to ask. I appreciate that most people assume my future is hockey, and they probably wouldn’t even consider that there could be any other option. Still, I hadn’t realized until Riley asked, how much people just assume or don’t care.
People come up to me all day long, wanting to be seen with me, to become my friend, or hoping for a date. Yet they don’t want to actually get to knowme.They want Logan Astor: star forward and soon-to-be drafted NHL player.
For the first time in I don’t know how long, Riley sees the real me. The me outside of the jersey. The me beyond hockey. Beyond the popularity and the flirty, outward persona I present to the rest of the world.
“Astor. Astor!”
Gavin shoves my shoulder and I whip my head up, finding Coach glaring at me.
“Does our captain have any words of wisdom before we hit the ice?”
I glance around the locker room, shocked to realize Coach is finished with his speech and everyone is looking at me expectantly, game faces on.
Clearing my throat, I meet the gaze of each of my teammates. “This is our year. The team has never been stronger, and it shows. The rest of the league should be afraid because we’re fucking coming for them. So let’s get out there and kick some ass!”
The locker room erupts into cheers, sticks banging against the floor as the guys all fist bump.
“What are we?” I yell over the din.
“Huskies!”
“What do we do?”
“Win.”
“How do we do it?”
“Together.”
Grinning like a fucking savage, I roar, “Let it rip, boys!” before throwing my head back and howling alongside the rest of the team before we skate out onto the ice to a battlefield of screams and cheers.
I keep my focus on the center of the ice, refusing to look into the stands, just like I did all during warm-up, knowing my eyes will betray me and zero in on her seat. The need to know if she’s here itches beneath my skin, but the fear that she isn’t keeps my eyes on the ice.
However, right before the puck drops, I can’t help myself. My control wavers.
I turn my head.
I look.
And a stone drops into my stomach.
Her seat is empty.
She didn’t come.
It shouldn’t bother me, butfuck, I’ve never been so disappointed. It’s only at this moment, as the puck hits the ice and everyone bursts into action, that I realize I’ve never wanted anyone in the crowd more than I wanted to see her cheering me on.
Of course, Gray and Royce come occasionally, and my parents do too, but I’ve never asked a girl to come before. Never wanted one here until her.
And I hadn’t realized how much it meant to me until this moment.
For the next two hours, I spend more time looking at her empty seat than on the game happening around me.
I play like shit, not scoring a single goal, and when the final buzzer goes, I glance up at the scoreboard. 0-1.Fuck.Our first loss of the season.
