Page 58 of Wicked Minds
Fuck.
Fuck.
Swiping a hand through my hair, I tug on the neckline of my hoodie.Fuck.I can’t breathe.
My eyes bounce around the diner, not taking it in as sweat beads along my skin. Sagging forward, my elbows rest on the table as I bow my head and mutter the truth aloud to the table. “His.”
Unbidden images of Riley, fifteen. Scared. Alone. And fucking pregnant with her abuser’s baby, flash through my mind. How in the fucking hell did this woman not succumb to all of that?
She truly is a survivor. A fighter. The strongest fucking person ever to have faced all that and still beher—sweet, caring, understanding.
Rage pummels through me, crashing like waves, tinged with sorrow and disgust at everything she has had to endure on her own.
And just when she thought she’d found her new start… we turned it into a fresh hell for her to endure.
Fuck, now IknowI’m going to be sick…
Bile rushes up the back of my throat, and jumping to my feet, I push out of the booth.
“Logan,” Riley calls, voice pleading.
Unable to look at her, I hold up a hand. “I’m sorry, Riley. I just… I need a moment. Just give me one moment.” Not waiting for a response, I stride away from the table, throw open the door to the diner, and stumble down the steps before collapsing on the ground and dry heaving.
My stomach purges itself of its contents, but it does sweet fuck all to obliterate the self-loathing eating away at my insides.
19
RILEY
Logan is green as he scurries from the table, taking my strangled heart with him. Fucking hell. If I thought Royce finding out was bad, it has nothing on watching Logan’s face shift from confused to shocked to horrified as I told him my deepest, darkest secret.
“He’s not okay.” My voice breaks and cracks over the words, sounding more like that of a forty-pack-a-day smoker than mine. Wrapping my arms around myself, I realize I’m cold to the bone despite the warm food in my belly.
Sliding out from his side of the booth, Royce drops down beside me, shifting over until he can pull me in against him. His aftershave blends with the sharp leather of his jacket, and dragging in a long breath, I bury my face in his hoodie. “Give him a few minutes. He just needs to process.” I nod into Royce’s hoodie, sniffling. “It’s a lot to take in and probably the farthest thing from what he was expecting.”
“I know,” I say, pulling back to wipe beneath my eyes. “I just… The look on his face. He was devastated.”
“He’s blaming himself,” Royce explains. “Grasping the full picture of what you’ve had to endure, and knowing he added to it… he’s blaming himself. That’s why he looked so distraught.”
“How do you know that?”
He stares down at me with an open expression. “Because it’s how I felt that day in the park.”
“We never really talked about that day,” I hedge, picking up one of the strings on his hoodie and absently fiddling with it.
He reaches up, tucking a finger under my chin to lift my face to his. “I think you know by now that it changes nothing for me.” At my skeptical look, he chuckles. “Okay, that day changed everything, however not in the way you’re thinking. Your truth shattered the flimsy excuses I clung to for why I shouldn’t allow myself to give into the draw I felt toward you.
“If you’re asking if it changed how I feel about you, then yes. How could it not? Knowing what you went through; what you’ve survived… and going through all of that while raising a daughter… it makes you fucking superwoman, Ry.” My gulp is audible as I swallow, tears stinging my eyes. “As for everything else: the questions I have and what it means regarding Grayson… well, I think we’re better off saving that discussion to have with Logan.”
“Assuming this hasn’t completely pushed him over the edge.”
Royce scoffs. “He might be spiraling, but that’s more about him than you. That man is obsessed with you. Believe me. I hear about it enough to know. He’d move heaven and earth for you if it were possible.”
Staring out the large windows overlooking the dark parking lot, I worry my lower lip when I don’t see any sign of Logan outside.
Royce forces my face to his with gentle but firm fingers, eyes scouring my face. “How areyou?I doubt telling Logan was on your agenda for the night.”
A weak laugh escapes me. “I wouldn’t have left with you if I hadn’t considered the possibility. Logan knowing… it doesn’t scare me.”
