Page 59 of Wicked Minds
Royce’s stare bores into me, identifying everything I’m not saying. “But the thought of telling Grayson does.”
I swallow nervously. “He has the power to take her from me, and I don’t trust him not to act out of anger. In an attempt to punish me, he could end up hurting her, and I refuse to let that happen.”
He takes in everything I say with a quiet reserve, turning over the words before simply nodding. “For the record, I wouldn’t let that happen either, but let’s not worry about Grayson for tonight. Once Logan has had time to process, the three of us can talk. Figure everything out.”
“I have a daughter, Royce,” I repeat the words for the second time tonight, pride swelling in my chest.
I’ve kept Aurora a secret from so many people for so long that it feels good to stand up and say that she’s mine. I’m so damn proud of the little girl I created, and I want the world to know it. I wantherto know it. I’ve been keeping her a secret for her own protection, and admittedly because I was scared, but I’m so sick and tired of all the secrets and lies. I just want to live my life—with Aurora. To live in a world where I can claim her as mine and be so damn proud to call myself her Mom.
However, despite all that, I need Royce—and Logan—to understand precisely what that means.
“Yeah, Babydoll. I know. I was there, remember?” Royce responds, a teasing smirk pulling at his lips.
“Royce,” I groan, giving him a weak attempt at a stern glare. “You know what I mean. You both talk as though we have a future, but you need to understand I have a daughter. She’s a permanent fixture in my life, which I’m not sure you fully grasp since she hasn’t been here, and you haven’t had to see what a terror a three-year-old can be on a lifestyle.”
“You’re a package deal,” Royce states bluntly.
“Yeah. And that won’t ever change. Not even when she’s thirty and has her own life.”
His lips twitch in a semblance of a smile.
“I understand that, Ry. Believe me, it’s all I’ve been able to think about these last few weeks. I won’t pretend to know anything about children, or raising them, or tell you that I’m any good with them, although knowing you have a daughter isn’t going to be enough for you to get rid of me.” His hand glides smoothly up the side of my throat before slipping around the back of my head until he has a firm hold on the fine hairs at the base of my scalp, and his next words come out in a rasp that sends my heart leaping.
“I know there’s shit you don’t know, shit that we need to talk about… Hell, I know I should be telling you to run in the opposite direction because I’m not any good for you. Only I’m too selfish to do that, and I don’t have the self-control to stay away from you, so instead, I’ll say that, for the first time in months—fuck, inyears—I feel something other than hate and bitter resentment.Youmake me feel something other than the cloying spitefulness eating away at me.”
“Maybe I’m just a pretty distraction,” I murmur, voice breathless. Our faces are so close now that I can feel his breath against my skin when he responds.
“That’s what I thought at first also. I told myself I kept returning to the club to toy with you. Because I saw how uncomfortable it made you.”
“And being you, you thought I deserved it,” I whisper against his lips.
“Yes,” he admits unapologetically.
“So if you didn’t keep coming back to get under my skin, why did you?”
He tilts his head, his nose running along my jaw until his lips reach my ear. “Because staying away from you is impossible.”Shivers skate along my skin. “You became an addiction. A craving I had to sate. I’d tell myself tonight was the last time, then the next night, I’d find myself right back in that booth, needing to learn more, to peel back another layer and see what lay underneath.” My breathing hitches. “You were so defiant at the club. Put on such a tough girl act,” he continues to whisper as I cling desperately to his every word. “But then I watched as you fell apart in that dance studio.
“I stood on the street and watched as you succumbed to your heartache and loneliness. As you allowed yourself to completely shatter and fall apart… I’d never seen anything so breathtaking.
“I didn’t understand then what your pain was about, but I felt every acute stab as though it were my own. I felt your betrayal and helplessness only because I recognized them in myself.”
Loosening his hold on the back of my head, he brings his hand around so his thumb brushes my lower lip. “Then watching you take everything we threw at you over winter break and stand up to Grayson. You could have demanded that we listen to your side of things. Could have thrown the truth repeatedly in Grayson’s face… yet, despite everything he did, you tried to spare his feelings. You wanted us to make our own decisions instead of shoving the truth down our throats, even though, given the circumstances, you had every right to.”
With both his hands cupping my cheeks, he stares earnestly into my eyes. “You are tough as nails, resilient, and strong-minded, but also kind and compassionate. You haven’t allowed the shit you’ve been through to harden you. So many of us allow life to make us callous, but this world didn’t break you, Riley. It sharpened you into steel and made you a warrior.
“Everything I’ve seen and learned about you has only made me want to know more. When I tell you that I’ve given this some thought, I mean it, andI’m in, so if you don’t want this, thenyou’ll have to be the one to end it, ‘cause I have no intention of going anywhere.”
My heart hammers against my chest as I reel from Royce’s confession. I have never heard him say so much at once, and I know it’s not a common occurrence. Which makes everything he’s saying even more special. It’s him opening up to me. Him wanting me to understand exactly where he stands, and despite his claiming earlier this evening, he’s now putting the ball in my court. Givingmethe option to pursue this chemistry between us or walk away.
My throat scratches as I attempt to swallow, emotions too thick to get words past, before I give up and instead reach up and pull his face to mine. With my kiss, I pour out my gratitude at having been seen so plainly by him and accepted for all of my cracks and fissures. He has seen me at my rawest and recognized my emotions for what they were. More than that, hefeltthem, too.
He saw past my pale skin and reddish hair. Past the freckles and loose clothing. He saw beyond the shields I placed around myself. Through the carefully constructed barriers and mask of confidence.
He sawme.
And here he is, telling me that he’s all in.
Arms around his neck, I hold on tightly as I break our kiss.
