Page 191 of Wicked Minds
I’m incapable of voicing any sort of response as he continues pushing me to the brink with each rub of his thumb over my clit and the scissor of his fingers.
“I’m toxic, and your presence is gasoline to my flames. Even now. Even knowing… I see you and all my carefully constructed walls crumble.”
It says a lot about my mental state that I take his words as a compliment and not the warning he intends.
His need for me, his desperation, gets me all hot and bothered, despite my complex feelings regarding this man. Which is why, when he buries his face in my hair and growls for me to come, I obey.
Breathing heavily, I can feel Grayson at my back, his ragged breath in my ear as I collapse against the table. I’m still catching my breath when he murmurs, so low I barely hear it, “I wish I could be the man you want me to be, but I’m not him anymore.”
It’s the dejection in his tone. The utter hopelessness that has a tear leaking from the corner of my eye. I remain where I am so he won’t see it. Knowing he doesn’t want nor would he appreciate my pity. Not that these are pity tears, but they’d make him just as uncomfortable.
What they are are tears of loss. For the kid I once knew. The man he could have been—shouldhave been. If not for me. If not for his father. I’m not giving up hope that there isn’t still some version of that man hidden deep inside him, but I also now realize just how challenging it will be to find and coax him out.
Gathering myself, I press back against him and he moves away, letting me up. Turning, I look up at his haggard expression. “Feel better?”
Exhaling, he nods.
“Good.” Taking a step forward, I shove at his shoulders with as much strength as I can muster. The unexpected move catches him by surprise and he stumbles back a step, eyes going wide as he stares at me in shock. “Since we’reexpressingour emotions today, I need to unleash a few.”
Stepping into him, I shove him again, allowing all the anger I felt when I woke up in that house, chained to his stupid fucking stripper pole, to rise to the surface. The fear when he grabbed my throat and squeezed. The hostility when he chased me through the woods. The hopelessness when he held a knife to me.
Everything I haven’t allowed myself to feel because it has been one hit after another since the semester started, but now I realize there can be no way forward unless we go back.
I know he sees the swell of emotions taking over, but he doesn’t tell me to stop as I continue pushing him backward until he falls into a chair.
“You kidnapped me,” I seethe. “Chained me up. Nearly ruined my relationship with Logan. Tore away my personal safety and tried to humiliate me.” My body vibrates with all the anger I’ve buried deep since Royce took me home that day. “And you never even fucking apologized.”
“I didn’t.”
His voice is so calm—too calm. It throws me off, and I stare down at him in confusion. He’s not angry at my outburst, but he doesn’t sound remorseful either.
It only serves to spike my anger to new levels, and in a moment of insanity, I whirl around to grab the unused plastic knife from my table. I jab the plastic tip into his neck, hand trembling as angry tears sting my eyes. “Youused me. You took all of your hatred out on me without giving a damn about what I wanted.” The tears overflow, and at this point, I’m no longer sure if they’re angry tears or repressed emotional ones. “You held mehostage. Nicked my skin. You didn’t listen when I told you to stop.”
There. The first flash of remorse. Grayson’s eyes drop, and his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. I jab the knife deeper into his skin, surprised it doesn’t snap under the pressure I’m exerting.
Lifting his head, Grayson’s stare expresses a grim acceptance as he says, “Let it out.” Going still, I stare down at him, convinced I’m misunderstanding. He can’t mean…
He pulls me down so I’m straddling him. “You’re right. I did all those things, so do the same to me. Use me. Let it all out. Make it stop.” One side of his lips quirks. “You know you want to. You want to hurt me the way I hurt you. I know you feel it, too.”
“Feel what?” I rasp, my hand shaking so badly around the knife that it must be hurting him.
“How the whole world stops for a brief moment when we’re together.”
I suck in a gasp, my chest heaving as I skim his steady gaze.
My mind snaps. That’s the only obvious conclusion I can draw as both of my hands go to his belt, unbuckling it before ripping open his jeans and palming his burning hot erection before pulling it from his boxers.
I pause, staring down at my skirt and leggings with no idea how to proceed, but then Grayson’s hands move to the outside of my thighs, lifting the skirt until it’s bunched around my hips, and his fingers disappear between my thighs. A moment later, there’s a ripping noise, and my gaze flicks to his.
Even as his eyes burn with desire, he lets go of me, his hands dropping to his sides in a silent display that this is my show.I’mthe one in charge. Holding his stare, I don’t give myself a chance to overthink it as I reach down and push my panties to the side before lowering myself onto him.
He grunts, his body stiffening as I steadily take him inside of me until my hips meet his, and I feel deliciously full. I remain there, unmoving, as I catch my breath.
“Fuck, Tempest,” Grayson groans, voice strained.
It snaps me out of my reverie, my eyes clashing with his and flaring with memories. My teeth grind as I snatch the knife I’d dropped onto his lap and hold it to his neck, pushing it against his skin as I lift myself off him before slamming back down.
We both moan, and he hisses another curse. I can feel his legs trembling with the urge to buck his hips, but he remains unmoving as he lets me have my way with him. “This means nothing,” I hiss at him, throwing his words from that night in his face. “A hole to be filled. A warm body to come in.”
